Shoe Momma

New Blog Site!

2011-07-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

After taking a very long hiatus, I have started blogging again. Shoe Momma no longer seems to fit, so my new blog site is, www.jennydalley.blogspot.com. Won't you come visit?

The Dance

2011-02-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

The day after my brother-in-law's funeral, my husband and I joined my family at the park for my sister's wedding rehearsal dinner. I was there early hanging out with my family and waiting for Bob to get off work. When I saw him pulling into the parking lot I went to meet him. This song came over the park's loudspeakers as we were walking toward each other. When we met on the sidewalk we stopped and just held unto each other until even a little while after the song ended. This song has reminded me of my brother in law ever since.
This afternoon I heard George Winston's piano version on Pandora and instead of thinking of my brother in law, (it will be 10 years in June) I thought of my husband and I holding unto each other.
Today is Valentine's Day. Some friends have been living in the hospital for a few weeks after the husband was in a motorcycle accident. In spite of everything he has been through, he remembered to have roses sent to his wife and daughters. My boys and husband picked out flowers for me the other night when we were at Wal-Mart, but otherwise, we most likely won't do a whole lot, if anything. I am okay with that. But I am not entirely happy with other areas of my life that I seem to have become complacent with.
Why is it that when the status quo is generally acceptable, with money in the bank and healthy kids, we take things for granted? We don't depend on each other, or God, as much as when things are not so easy. Why, when things are tough do we work that much harder?
I have really been in a rut lately. The status quo is okay and I am feeling convicted. There is so much that I should be doing that I am not. I need to try harder. Work harder. Take advantage less. Be less complacent.

"Dance like nobody's watching;
love like you've never been hurt.
Sing like nobody's listening;
live like it's heaven on earth."

~~~ by Mark Twain

Menu Plan Monday

2011-01-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is my first time linking to www.Orgjunkie.com. I think next week I will aim for side dishes, too. Happy Monday!

Monday - Meatloaf

Tuesday - tacos

Wednesday - I think we are eating at Awana

Thursday - Chicken thighs = hmmmmm, I gotta figure out what to do with those!

Friday - scrambled egg sandwiches

Saturday - Chicken taco salad (I made these last week and the boys dubbed it "Mama's Special!"

Sunday - Spaghetti

My Word for 2011 and Easy "Art"

2011-01-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

I have seen Word Clouds of sorts on various blogs but until today I have never played around with them. Recently I discovered a wonderful website called Big Picture Classes. Ali Edwards is teaching a year long class utilizing the word you pick for the year. I think her word is Light. Kimmy's word is Intentional. My word is Action. I wanted to create something with my word that I can post somewhere as a reminder to me throughout the year.

I went to www.wordle.net, selected "create" on the top bar of tabs, wrote a bunch of synonyms for "action" that I found here http://thesaurus.com/, played around with the layout, fonts, and colors until I was happy, then I printed it. Easy-peasy! :)

It was so easy and fun that I decided to create some "art" for my living room!

Have you played much with wordle.net? I'd love to see what you've done!

Happy New Year!

A Social Network Christmas

2010-12-18T20:37:00.000-08:00

I just had to share what greeted me on Facebook this morning. Such a simple and yet profound way of presenting Jesus' birth and the events leading up to it. Could you just imagine? I can so totally picture Joseph and Mary facebooking if Jesus' birth was this year rather than just over 2,000 years ago. The little flirtation at the beginning and the "so-and-so likes this" comments throughout the video were adorable. My boys and I have a joke about being "facebooked" when they do something cute or silly. "Don't put that on facebook!" is a common plea in our home. So imagining Mary changing her profile picture to include her new baby, friends' comments (hurtful & supportive), and Joseph typing out the name of his precious newborn, brought this amazing, life-changing, world-altering, prophesy-predicted Event that much more to life.

I just made my boys watch it with me. My 9 year old had to read some of the parts to his little brothers when I could not because of the lump in my throat.

My mother and I have had this silly unofficial contest of trying to make each other cry (in a good way) and as I hit the "Publish Post" button below I will be wondering how many of my readers will cry (in a good way).

Christmas Trees

2010-12-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine wrote about Christmas Trees on her blog and as I was adding a comment I started remembering and writing all sorts of things about my past Christmas trees. My comment turned into a post. And here it is.

What is your ideal Christmas Tree? Real or plastic? Do you bundle up and head out to the wilderness in search of the perfect tree to cut down yourself or do you shop at a lot in town? White or green, if fake? Do you like colored lights or white lights? Are your ornaments predominantly homemade or store bought? Does your Christmas Tree have a theme? I have a dear friend who wants to have a Charlie Brown tree this year. I'd love to see that!

After about 8 years of fake trees, mostly with colored little tags at the base of the branches so you can tell which hole to fit them into, we are finally getting a real tree this year!

During our first several years of marriage hubby and I did not have much money. We rarely felt that purchasing a live tree was something we could afford so we used hand-me-down fake ones. One year my hubby and his brother surprised me with a real tree. We didn't have a truck but Dan did so he met us at a tree lot. The tree lot was next to the grocery store I was told we were heading to. Dan has been in Heaven for over nine years now. That December, seeing him standing there by those trees, is one of my favorite memories of him. He was always so giving.

I love the elegant look of white lights on a tree, but as long as I have kids in the house I just have to have colored lights. I tried white lights a few years ago but it just didn't seem as cheery.

Tinsel is not my favorite. Last year I purchased a couple of boxes of the silvery stuff with the intent of using it to hide the ugly little tags and other monstrosities on our ugly plastic tree, but I was afraid my kids would eat it and die, so I never put it on. My dad always liked tinsel. My mom always hated it. One year Dad threw tinsel on the entire left half of the tree. What a compromise!

I love my ornaments. I love unwrapping them one at a time relishing the memories of how they came to be in my home. There were a few years when I was single that I thought I wanted a cat-themed tree. Thus many of my ornaments are cat figurines. My husband grew up on a farm and my sisters used to tease him about farm animals so for a few years we inadvertently collected little sheep ornaments. Our poor trees have never been themed and probably never will. It just may be impossible to have a single theme when most of the members of the family have ADD. "Look, a squirrel!"

I did it!

2010-11-29T22:48:00.000-08:00

New Directions Kind Of

2010-11-16T13:06:00.001-08:00

I know I said no blogs until after NaNoWriMo, but I have a thought I wanted to be sure to follow up on in December.

First of all, I have written over 19,000 words. Woo Hoo! I am so proud of myself! It is hard to write a novel. I always just figured my biggest enemy was in not applying myself and not writing. But now that I am writing I am struggling with things like plots and character development. Since my novel is set in 17th century Ireland I am forced to do a ton of research while I am writing. And because the major premise is conflict between Protestant and Catholic characters how do I portray the truth without being judge-y? I have been consistently behind in my daily word count but I know I can still make it.

That was not my thought, but related somewhat. One of my biggest character flaws is laziness. I am great at coming up with ideas and I know what I should/need/want to do, I just don't. This writing business and actually being close to achieving such a huge goal has fired me up a bit.

Have you heard of Hannah Help Me? She is this mom who goes to other mom's homes and help them in their overwhelming lives. She sells a coaching program where she will send daily e-mails with a 5 minute video to help with everything from married life to budgets. All for only $39.95. I have been so tempted. I have at least 8 parenting books and more self-improvement books. I am a die-hard FlyLady fan.

The thing is, I know what I need to be doing. I plan to journal/journey starting in December, after I write 50,000 in my novel, in this blog about what I am doing/not doing to get my life on track. Putting God first, husband second, kids third. Budgeting, homeschooling, home-making, and you get to join in on the fun!

That's it until December. I have a house to clean and a novel to write. We have a pastor visiting from the other side of the country and members of our church have signed up to cook dinners and lunches for him this week. I signed up for tomorrow. Don't know why I did during NaNoWriMo. Don't know what I was thinking! Other than that it will be nice to meet him and kids will get to see service. Something they don't witness from me nearly often enough.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Snooze Buttons

2010-10-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

My husband, after being told I was having girl problems, tried to smother them out of me with a pillow. Isn't he ever so helpful?

My friend overheard her four year old daughter telling her big sister in a warning tone, "Don't you shush me again!"

I have an associate who dabbles on the dark side. It used to really bother me. It still does, but not to the extent it once did.

What do these little accounts have to do with Snooze Buttons? Well, I'm glad you asked. My Bible Study this morning was about letting the Holy Spirit within you lead you. And after I fell asleep on the couch afterwards rather than dive into my day and get homeschooling going, and writing done, and morning routines, it occurred to me to ask; How many times do I feel the nudging of the Holy Spirit and ignore Him?

I smother those feelings, shush His voice, and as a result, things that should bother me don't.

NaNoWriMo

2010-10-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

I apologize about my lengthy absence. We were planning a trip to Texas and Texas was the only thing on my mind. I did not want the world (at least not local criminal types) to know we were going to be out of town. We're back now and had a BLAST! We visited hubby's brother and family, went to the Texas State Fair and The Alamo. On our way we explored Bent's Old Fort in La Junta. On our way home we explored Carlsbad Caverns and Santa Fe. Our little GPS, who my crazy hubby uploaded a squirrel's voice to, told us we drove for 52 hours in our 9 day trip. The kids were wonderful in the car. I guess that would be a miracle considering how long we were driving. Hotel rooms were a different story. They were wanting to be awake and doing things WAY before we were. It was also tough getting them to stop fighting over blankets and pillows before falling asleep. Overall it was a wonderful vacation. Here are some of the highlights:

The squirrel stuck in the Nuvi - AKA the GPS with a squirrel voice. Bob had also uploaded a "scary" voice but he had a British accent and was NOT scary. :) Bob promptly switched to the squirrel who randomly exclaimed such things as, "If you see a squirrel run in front of the car, it's probably my uncle Frank. He's crazy like that!" and "Do you think the gas station would sell walnuts?" and "Sometimes I get a little distracted... Hey do you want some peanut brittle?" All in this cute, sometimes grating, squirrel voice. When bro-in-law drove us around in Ft. Worth he did not appreciate the squirrel. He made disparaging remarks when he veered off course and caused squirrel to exclaim, "Oh NUTS! Don't worry, I'll get us out of here!" Poor squirrel.
Rhianna did not like driving in the dark. "I want to go home and watch Dora!" "I don't like the freaky stuff!" Daniel had asked her about Texas, "Do you like Texas, Ri-Ri? What do you think of Texas?" "I don't like Texas. There's no sun!"
Mike bought us fudge. Yum? No! It was HOT! What was hilarious is that his piece was not hot and he did not mean to buy hot. So he says. He did seem genuinely surprised at our reactions. Brendan was fanning his mouth. Rhianna had tears in her eyes, fist in her mouth and was drooling. Later we walked past another candy store and Ashton told Mike, "No fudge!" It was pretty funny.
Carlsbad Caverns is a MUST SEE. It was a little disconcerting walking underground. Daniel was quite nervous and Bob talked to him on the way down. I was shaky and did some self-talking myself. But the scary part was brief. The lighting, shapes, colors, crevices, and tranquil pools were breathtaking. It was amazing. God was there. The boys asked how long we had been underground after about 2 hours. I reminded them about watching the miners in Chile coming out of the mine after being in there for 69 days. Just no comparison.
Some pictures below.

We are all happy to be back home. Well, except Bob who had to fly to California two days after we got back and is currently driving 12 hours in one of their new police cars. 7 states in a week. Poor thing.

So that is why I haven't blogged recently. And this post's title is why I will not be blogging in November. November is National Novel Writing Month - NaNoWriMo. I am fixin' to write me a novel! It will be like number 4 in my priority list; after Bible study, Bob, and homeschooling. But I figure since I will be cutting out Facebook (cleaning), blogging (reading & writing) and movies (cooking), I should be able to reach the 50,000 words.

The Birthday Princess

2010-10-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

Our little Princess is 3 years old today! Isn't she a doll? I need to remind myself that sometimes. She and I actually had quite a little discussion yesterday about how it was the last day she would be 2, so "NO MORE Terrible Twos!"

This afternoon I went to a neighborhood dollar store to find a princess doll for her cake and a homeless couple got in line behind me. Have you heard that the olfactory sense is one that provokes the strongest memories? Well this was one of those times! Reminded me so much of when my little one and her brother first came to live with us just over two years ago. Their biological mother has been homeless for most of her life. I was told that the little family had spent the night in a tent once because they did not get to the shelter in time. A baby girl and her brother in a tent. Not for fun. I've been crying most of the day since the dollar store trip.

I have been thinking about her bio mom today. What is going on in her heart? I wonder about her little baby. He is less than a year old. Every time I hear about them they are just losing another house. And I wonder about her other boy. The one who entered our home and left, but will always be a part of us. And ...I can't go there. So I'll push it aside for a time and save it for another day.

Back to the Birthday Princess... I could not find the right princess doll at the dollar store so I went to K-mart where images of the dollar store homeless couple followed me and I came home with a Disney Princess comforter when I had already gone over budget.

I can't take away her past. I can't let her live with her biological mother and biological brothers. I can't guarantee her a Happily Ever After. But I can buy her a princess comforter for her birthday. And way more important, I can teach her about Jesus and assure her that she is not just our little Princess, but she is God's Princess, too.

A Few Little Discoveries

2010-09-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

I went to my first Writer's Conference this weekend! It was affirming, inspiring, and free. I chose not to go the the afternoon session I had originally signed up for; marketing and publishing. I chose instead to attend the panel on writing different genres. I loved it and learned a lot. I even took away a few blogging tips. A friend of mine attended the marketing/publishing session and came away slightly overwhelmed and discouraged. I was so glad I didn't go to that one. I am not in that place in my writing. It would be good to actually finish a piece first, don't you agree?

This afternoon, as I was looking around my living room, trying to figure out how to make it more Nester'ly, it occurred to me that I am slightly overwhelmed and discouraged in my attempts at decorating my home because I am not in that place in my home-management.

I am closer to this:

I dream of this:

The blogs and television shows that I am thoroughly enjoying reading and watching are these:

The blogs and television shows that I will benefit more from at this point are perhaps these:

So now I am off to de-clutter our home-school table. My decorator dreams will be placed on the back burner until I have a better handle on the management part of keeping our home. Thanks for letting me share. I'd love to hear suggestions for other blogs and t.v. shows that I would enjoy or benefit from. Does anyone want to share their dreams and realities?

Monday CHAT

2010-09-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

I would love it if you would CHAT with me every Monday.

C = Challenge
H = Habit
A = Action
T = Time

Here's mine for this week.

Challenge: I just read The Nester's post this morning titled Meaningful Beauty. She offers a challenge to her readers: "My encouragement to you today is to be intenional about surrounding yourself with PERSONAL meaningful beauty." After I read that I walked around my house and found basically nothing, besides my books, that would qualify as "personal meaningful beauty." So that is my challenge this week. Purposefully place items around my home that would be meaningful to my family. I've been wanting to frame some of the kids' artwork.

Habit: Go to bed at 10:30 and wake up at 6:30.

Action: Go to the gym or walk up the neighborhood hill 3x this week.

Time: Something I desperately need to spend some time on today and possibly throughout the week is my form for our vacation. The school we signed up under this year will pay for part of our trip. It has to be pre-approved and I keep procrastinating.

I'll update on Thursday to let you know how I'm doing on my CHAT. I'd love to hear about some of your goals for the week.

"I Saved His Name In My Heart."

2010-09-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

While driving my seven year old home from his speech session this afternoon, I was trying to find out some of the kids' names in his group. He could only remember the two girls' names. Go figure! Then he says, "There was Adam. From a long time ago." "That was a long time ago." After he thought a moment he said, "I saved his name in my heart."
Isn't that beautiful?

Last Days of Summer

2010-09-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

I am sitting on my Driveway Swing, (kind of like a porch swing, but it's in our driveway instead) watching my boys swim. The neighbor kids, poor little darlings, will be in school for another hour. We are so blessed! My hubby found a blow-up fighter jet (Gotta love Woot!) that all 3 of my boys are able to float on. Although currently the two youngest are on it and the oldest is "rocking" it.
I read a touching article on Heart Of The Matter this morning by Sheri Sears listing the reasons she homeschools. The point that I have been reflecting on ever since is:

I don’t want my children to grow away from each other as schools seem to promote. They need to know that while friends come and go siblings are forever.

So this day, probably one of our last that is warm enough for swimming, is extra sweet to me.

All I Want is a Dress for a Little Girl!!!

2010-09-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

Oh, and I don't want to pay $50 for one. Is that too much to ask? I invited my sister to go dress shopping at our local mall for my 3-year-old girl for her adoption next week. I thought it would be a simple task. But no! There were no cute, inexpensive dresses. There were plenty of skanky, expensive, grown-up, 80's punk-Cyndi-Lauper-ish, or just plain ugly ones. We finally found a cute one on clearance at Target. Yay! Should have gone there first.

And, of course, when I looked online to get pictures of some of the horrible dresses we found, see below, I found lots of adorable dresses and they were on sale, too. Figures.

When Mama Ain't Happy...

2010-09-11T19:12:00.001-07:00

It's not that I'm not happy. It's just that I'm not happy. The difference is subtle but important.

My hubby and I can tell when we're in sync with each other. We finish each other's sentences. We crave the same foods. We want to watch the same kinds of movies. Then there are times when we're out of sync. We're off. Occasionally one of has to proclaim, "We're so off!" Well lately, we've been fine, but I've been off. I don't want to write. I've been sleeping 10+ hours a night. I've been napping.

Fortunately I know exactly the steps I need to fix the problem.

Read the Bible every day. Things are so much clearer and brighter when I start with God's Word.

Practice His presence throughout the day.

Exercise at least 4 times a week.

Make and follow an eating plan according to my two favorite "diet" books.

I will be back to chipper self soon!

In the meantime, I will be writing more regularly.

Eyeballs... really, eyeballs!

2010-08-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

My wonderful father watched the kids for me yesterday morning so I could go to my Optometrist appointment to fill my contact (or eye-tact as my 8 year old calls them) prescription. I tend to stretch out their use for as long as I possibly can. I confessed this to my new eye doctor and he told me exactly, in gory detail, why it is a bad idea to wear disposable contacts for months longer than they are intended to be worn. I won't give you all the details, but if you are interested, here is a link: http://www.allaboutvision.com/contacts/fungal-eye-infections.htm.

After looking through the 2nd or 3rd machine at my eyes he made an interesting comment, "I've been doing this for years and have seen hundreds of eyes. It never ceases to amaze me how different and yet how similar each one is." Not knowing his beliefs I hesitated a moment before asking, "Proof of a Higher Power, huh?"
"Exactly!" He told me that in one of his classes there was a discussion about evolution. Evolution in a science class, you ask? Seriously, this was good. There are apparently only six types of eyes on earth. Six! Well, in his class, they were wondering about the fact that the Giant Squid's eye is the same type as the rhinoceros or hippopotamus. His classmates were, "Wow, isn't evolution something?" And he was more, "Hello! This just screams Creator!" I'm paraphrasing the quotes, by the way.

I just love how Creator God works. I love how He put an eye, just one, in a giant squid, and gave it the same kind of eye as a pachyderm. Why? So doctors-in-training can see Him in a science class? So an Optometrist can casually mention to his patient that perhaps there is more to creation than random acts of morphing? Isn't He amazing?

NOT Back-To-School

2010-08-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Beginning our school day with PRAYER!

Reading...

(2nd picture - Daniel is so excited about learning how to read! I love that he showed his big brothers the word he figured out.)

Recess

Science - After drawing the butterflies the kids set them free in their own backyard!

We took a day off and went to the lake. Just because!

Back to School

2010-08-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year. I love shopping for Back To School things: New crayons that smell so yummy, folders with pictures of adorable animals, mechanical pencils, Trapper Keepers.... Whoa! I just dated myself there, didn't I?

This is our first year of starting home schooling from the beginning. My sisters recently took my niece and nephew to do some big-city school clothes shopping. Lots of money was spent. Yet another public school tradition I don't miss. Well, maybe I miss it a little. But not my spending my grown up money on boys' jeans that are going to rip out in the knee within a month anyway! What I miss is being young again and having my mom and dad buy all my new school clothes. One of my fondest childhood memories is lying in bed at night planning my wardrobe for the first few days of school. My sister's and my conversation would have been similar to this:

"What are you going to wear on the first day of school?" I would whisper.

"My red corduroy jumper with the yellow flowers on the front and my yellow socks." My sister would excitedly reply. "What about you?"

"My blue and green striped shirt with the jeans that have the flowers at the bottom. What are you gonna wear the second day?"

We had at least the first three days planned out every year.

Every once in awhile I feel a bit guilty that I am depriving my kids of memories like that. Not that I can imagine my boys being that excited about what they will wear on days 1, 2, and 3. Although they do like getting dressed up for church. I just sometimes wonder if they will feel they missed out.

Then I look at those memories and traditions they will get to enjoy instead. Things like taking two weeks off from school to drive to Texas in the fall. Reading lessons in front of the fire place or snuggled up under a blanket on the couch. Learning fractions by baking cookies.

Are we crazy for doing this? Probably. I know we are doing the right thing, though. We have already grown closer as a family. My boys are not always excited about doing school work, but they are still happy that their mommy is their teacher.

And now we're off to attend a local Home Educator Conference!

Cop's Wife

2010-08-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

I love my husband. I LOVE my husband! There hasn't been a man, since Louis L'Amour created his last hero-cowboy, who "works for the brand" like my husband does. There hasn't been a man, since John Wayne, who speaks his mind (and is usually right), like my husband does. There hasn't been a man, since the Marx Brothers, who makes me laugh like my husband does. I LOVE my husband.

Lately he has been coming home from work late. There have been extenuating circumstances. Mostly having to do with his first two traits mentioned previously. I admire him. I respect him. I love him. Or did I already write that? However, at the moment, as with many moments around evening-ish, an hour or so past when he is due home, I am mad at him. Because I am the wife of a cop, it is an emotional thing to be mad at my husband when he is late coming home from work. I know he's fine. Okay, I know he is probably fine. But he's a cop. What if instead of his patrol car pulling into the driveway, a different patrol car pulls in and two grim looking officers walk up to my door? A girl with an overactive imagination on the best of days can get quite carried away between the time a cop-hubby is supposed to be home and the time he finally arrives. When he does come home I'm torn between wrapping my arms around his waist in complete happy relief that he's safe and wrapping my hands around his neck to throttle him!

Anyone been there? My mother was the wife of a coal-miner and she totally relates!

On an unrelated note...

My eight-year-old son just ran to the window hollering, "Daddy!" It wasn't daddy. It was the Schwan's Man. My husband and I have a running joke about "the ice-cream man" being the "other man." I thought it was hilarious that my son did that! So what did I do? I shared the running joke and the funny son-hollering-"daddy" story with the poor ice-cream man. And now I'm blogging about it. Have I no shame?

Winter Blah-Blah-Blah Blues

2010-02-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

Blog hopping can be a good thing and a bad thing. I am finding that many homeschooling mamas get a little less-than-enthused this time of year. One of my favorite things about blog hopping is that I love finding out that I am not the only one. After Christmas Break it was extremely difficult to get back into a school schedule. My kiddos want to play and I want to, well, blog hop. Hmmm.... and there's the bad! This is our first year of homeschooling and I am dizzy with all of the information out there in the Wonderful Wide Web. My latest curiosity is Workboxes. These could be just what this not-very-organized teaching mommy needs.

The original workbox system can be found here: http://www.workboxsystem.com/

A blog I've been exploring tonight with helpful information about workboxes is here: http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/inside-our-workboxes-photo-journal/

I am off to go plan for tomorrow. "I think I can... I think I can..." Chug, chug. Puff, puff. Up the hill I go...

Goals With a Capital GO!

2010-02-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

We all know that Super Woman is not real. I have not been affected by the illusion except in looking at the chasm of the woman I see myself as and the woman I so desperately want to become. This evening I decided to play with my markers and some blank pages from one of my kids' art tablets. I love color and the possibilities of a blank page thrill me. I pictured, today for the first time, a large gap between where I am and where I want to be. So I drew it.

I brought my just-sharpened pencil to the left side of the long bright page. I drew a frumpy, wrinkly, sad, frazzled, Me with a bad hair do, bushy eyebrows, five chins, and a little globe on one of my shoulders. On the right side I drew a skinny, poised, high-heeled, lady with an "S" written on her chest and her hair just so - the Me Who I Want To Be.

In one color of ink (I chose grey) I wrote words randomly around the Me on the left. Words like; not worthy, ugly, frazzled, out of shape, not dependable, messy, and whiny. Around the picture on the right I wrote (in red); super mommy, put together, wise, fit, thin, sweet, gentle, energetic, and others.

Writing down some of those words and phrases made me cringe and some made me giggle out loud. I was glad my children were occupied on the other side of the house. They don't need any more proof that their mama has lost her mind! It occurred to me that my self image is not realistic. What an a-ha, huh? I crossed out some of those things that are just not true. I crossed out such things as; stupid, not worthy, bad mom. I also added words to make some statements truer. For example, I inserted an "always" between "not" and "dependable." I added "often" to "late."

I did the same thing with those lofty red words on the right. If it was unrealistic or impossible I crossed them out. Super mom, young, perfect, and thin were some words that ended up with lines drawn through them. Then I circled those things that I figured I really already am, at least to some degree. I circled; insightful, creative, witty, and wise. I added "can be" to "organized" because I really sometimes can be! Really!

I was having so much fun and learning so much about myself that I almost forgot that chasm between the two. So in pencil (I didn't have enough room for ink!) I jotted down some ideas of what I thought might be keeping me from being who I want to be. It did not take very long because I was realizing that the real problem was that who I am now and who I want to be are the same person. Just needs some tweaking! I wrote, "bad habits, lack of good habits, poor me attitude, feeling of worthlessness, accountability or lack thereof, time, tired, lies (to myself), schedule, and kids not minding."

Those red words that were left I considered them to be wishes or goals, things I would like to see in myself. I grouped them and then grouped them again. I was able to narrow them down to 5 goals/wishes/ideals.

Be Purposeful (from such words as ambitious, goal-achieving)
Faithful (patient, kind, gentle, sweet, role-model)
Energetic, Fit, Youthful (energetic, muscular)
Dependable, Neat, Put Together (dependable, neat, put together)
Author

All of my red words could be combined to fit into that small list. It was fun placing them in order. Being purposeful could sure help out in every area of my life so that came first. I waste a lot of time flitting from task to task without accomplishing much. I decided the second on my list ought to be Faithful. The logic here is a little different. Since "kindness, gentleness, and patience" are Fruits of the Spirit, I figured that these will be accomplished in spite of me not because of me. God will be doing the work for those particular objectives. Scary how my mind works sometimes!

I do realize that it won't be easy.

My final task was to revisit the chasm-causers like; bad habits, being tired, and having a "poor me" attitude. I wrote a brief to-do list.

Quit Whining!
Make a schedule (and stick to it!)
Set a time for sleeping and waking
Be honest with myself
Establish habits with end results in mind

No mystery. Not really. But by doing things backwards this way, I have been able to see more clearly how skewed my thinking has been.

And look! I'm blogging again! So I can cross off #5!

Back to Blogging!

2010-01-10T19:45:00.001-08:00

Ahhhhh, I'd forgotten how good this feels! I just reread some of my posts and spent a few minutes catching up with some of my favorite bloggers. Our life has settle down a bit over the past couple of weeks. The house is almost in order. Still work to do, but that will always be the case around here. Homeschooling has had it's ups and downs, but mostly ups. One thing that has surprised me is just how much I LOVE having my kids home all day. It can be hard and we get frazzled at times, but overall so much better than sending them off to school.
Here are a few snippets of what you can expect to read about over the next month or so.
* Homeschool
* Bible Study
* Foster/Adopt issues
* Writing
* Addictions - Facebook, Pepsi, Food
Kids are fighting, gotta run!

First Day of Homeschool!!!

2009-10-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

It is currently quiet time! Something that started out as a Godsend two and a half years ago has transformed from six sleeping little children and one sleeping mommy to one sleeping toddler, three reading little boys, and one writing momma. We had our first day of homeschool today. I wanted to reflect a bit while it was still fresh in my mind.
I woke up at 7. I set the alarm for that late because I knew I was still too cough-y to work out. I mistakenly thought 7 would give me enough time to read from the Bible and have a quiet breakfast. Wrong! Gavin and Rhianna were already awake making faces at each other and entertaining themselves with funny noises. I convinced him to read his sister a story... quietly. I opened the Bible to the 5th chapter of Romans and heard pitter patter of Danny feet heading up the stairs. "Is it time to homeschool?" He asked eagerly and headed toward his homeschool basket. "Not yet." Gavin offered to read to him, too. What a considerate big brother! I was able to read a couple chapters and pray briefly. I will set the alarm for 6:30 tomorrow. That'll show 'em!
I had planned on the house being super organized by today. I had NOT planned on all seven of us being sick with the Swine Flu for the past two weeks. So the house is passable, but not even clean, much less organized. It will be a work in progress. I am still hopeful that dh will be able to fix a few things, hang some curtains, and help rescue our bedroom. He is supposed to have oodles of time off during the next couple of months, but the internet bugs found out and decided he has to spend much of that precious time off from police-work, to spend on computer-work. I will write down some things that I would love for him to do for us and ask him to write down some goals for his time, as well.
Meal plans have been made through the next two weeks. Yay! I need to go to the grocery store though so I can follow them. I need to prepare kids' snack ahead of time or use it for a lesson or reward and have kids help. We spent an hour for snack time. I was also distracted by my urge to visit with my honey instead of making a needed phone call or getting out books for the next few hours of school. Lots of "wasted" time.
Rhianna did better than she could have. She is still coughing so I couldn't take her to daycare. She has been extremely stubborn lately but she didn't do too bad today. I got pretty frustrated once when I was trying to deal with her bad behaviour and had other kids trying to talk to me at the same time. The interrupting has got to stop! How? Practice waiting, I suppose.
Ashton was working on some math problems today. Some subraction facts I thought for certain he would have no problems with really stumped him. Even after I walked him through a few times he was still confused. I will be working on that with him tomorrow. Maybe it's time to buy some mini-marshmallows for hot chocolate.
Brendan read for me the same way his previous teacher said he read for him.... wonderfully when right next to me, but when on the other side of the room, not so much! Lots of playing with the book, gazing our the window, tying his shoes, and anything else instead of reading. I need to have more concrete expectations of what two boys should work on while I work with one child at a time.
Daniel was sure excited when I told him last night that he would get to go to school with his kitties. The look on his face was pretty cute. This morning while we were reading one of our books he made sure to get Sasha.
Well, Rhianna is awake and in a foul mood. Yippee-skippy! The fun of the afternoon begins.

HomeSchooling

2009-09-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

Approximately four weeks ago I was giddy with the anticipation of sending my kiddos to school. Summer was horrendous. I could not wait to get rid of my little urchins, if only for a few hours a day. Around that time we met some friends for lunch and I told them that I thought they were crazy. "Most of the time I admire you homeschoolers, and I can see where it would be great. But at this time of year I think you're all nuts!" They took it with good humor. Little did any of us know that God was possibly giggling while we ate our rice bowls and nachos. My husband and I just recently made the decision to pull our kids out of the public school system and leap into the world of homeschooling. We start next month.
The same friend we had lunched with told me last week, "Wow! When God works on you He does it fast!" Below are some of the events that led to the 180 degree shift in educational philosophy.
President Obama was to give a speech to the nation's children in school and many people freaked out. I was not entirely impressed with the idea, myself. It seemed highly political. President Obama has a history of not always doing what he says he will. The speech was to be live and at the time of most of the hulabaloo, the speech had not been released. It was scheduled a day before his speech to joint sessions of Congress pushing his healthcare... on and on. I watched it. My kids watched it. It was fine. However, one of the emails I read during the commotion prior to the speech was from a homeschool mom to a group of moms who mostly homeschool. She said it was a moot point because the public schools are government run schools. Why shouldn't the President be allowed to make a speech? She also went on to reference the scripture (Matthew 22:19) where the Pharisees were trying to trick Jesus and asked Him about paying taxes. He asked them whose picture was on the coin and the answer was Caesar. Jesus told them "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's." This lady in the e-mail said that when you put your children in public schools you are giving them to the government and relinquish all rights to their education. (For the record, I still disagree on some of her points.) It made me mad and I was in a fighting mood anyway, so I Googled, "Christians public schools." I was anticipating finding oodles of evidence to support Christians sending their kids to public schools and I was going to list those in an e-mail back to her. What I found instead were blogs, articles, opinions expressing just the opposite. It stopped me in my tracks. I immediately started questioning Just why am I sending my kids to public school?
I think God has been sending me hints for a long time that we are to homeschool. I just haven't been listening. Now that I am listening I am amazed at how clear He has been. I will continue later this week with verses from Bible study, laundry room revelations, and sermons that pointed our way to educating our children in our home.

Laura doesn't exactly praise Obama

2009-09-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

When I first read the CNN article I was POSITIVE that the media hacked the interview and pieced it together to meet their agenda. Then when I watched the interview I was still under that same impression.
I tried to read the article from a more liberal view and it does seem much better than when I first read it. However, there is definitely a liberal slant to the written article as I tried to reference below.

Please be forgiving of grammar and spelling and such. I have a 6 year old home sick and he is tormenting the 2 year old. :)

Article "She also criticized Washington's sharp political divide" and “Part of the reason for the polarization, she said, was the increase in the number of congressional districts dominated by either strongly conservative or liberal voters.“

Transcript “I think it is just what happens and people know it and our country is, because of our very really safe congressional districts everywhere in our country, we're polarized in the sense that a lot of people are on the right, a lot of people are on the left and we've seen that for the last eight years certainly and we're still seeing it and that's just a fact and I think it is important for everybody who is elected, Republicans and Democrats and independents, to do what they can to really be bipartisan, to come together and its difficult.
I know that was one of the real disappointments for my husband when he moved to Washington because in Texas when he had worked with the Democrat Speaker of the House and the Democrat Lieutenant Governor and they had been able to come together for what was best for our state and he was disappointed that that was not the way it worked out in Washington and we're just still seeing that I think. That's just a fact of life in American politics and I think people... I'm sure President Obama didn't expect it to be that way but you know, it is that way and I think all of us need to do what we can to come together on issues.

Article " defended Obama's decision to deliver a back-to-school speech to students"
Transcript I think there is a place for the President of the United States to talk to schoolchildren and encourage schoolchildren and I think there are a lot of people that should do the same and that is encourage their own children to stay in school and to study hard and to try to achieve the dream that they have.

Article The typically reserved former first lady defended Obama's decision to deliver a back-to-school speech to students, putting her at odds with many conservatives afraid that the president will use the opportunity to advance his political agenda.

Transcript: Well that's their right, you know that certainly is the right of parents to choose what they want their children to hear in school, but I think really what people were unhappy about were the guidelines that went out with the... before the.. speech went out with the, um, and I think those have been changed and I think it is also really important for everyone to respect the President of the United States.

Article: Bush indicated that she didn't think it was fair for Obama to be labeled a "socialist" by critics.
Transcript: Zain: Do you think that it is fair that Obama is criticized as a socialist?
Laura: I'd have no idea whether it is fair, do you think I thought it was fair when President Bush was criticized? Not really. So I guess not. (Watch the interview and how she said this.)

Article: Michelle Obama is also "doing great," she said, in part by turning the White House into a comfortable home for her family.

Transcript: I know what she's doing, you know, it's what every woman who moves there does and that's to try to make it a home.

Procrastination

2009-05-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

Procrastination is a sign that we are not trusting that God will lead the way and guide our paths. Procrastination leads to confusion and indecision, giving the enemy an opportunity to work at convincing us that we are unworthy, unqualified and incapable of carrying out God's will. As a result, we become paralyzed with fear, doubts and insecurities.

From a Proverbs 31 Devotion by Tracie MilesAnother timely e-mail devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries. God has spoken to me so often through these e-mails. This little message on procrastination has really hit home. I am a writer. I love to write. How can I go days, even weeks, without putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard?
I think it's a bit of an endless cycle. Or seemingly endless, anyway. The more I put off what I feel called to do, the more tempted I am to listen to the devil instead of my Father. Satan's accusing and belittling words become louder and clearer. God's loving and encouraging words of direction become a faint whisper. I have always been a bit of a procrastinator, but the way Mrs. Miles puts it above... yikes!

So, my prayer is that I will trust God to guide my steps... with writing, raising kids, and being a good wife.

The Three Boys who killed a Giant... Wasp!

2009-04-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

Looking at these smug faces, you'd never know how much high-pitched screaming actually took place during, and moments leading up to, the kill. Well, you'd never know if their mama wasn't a big-mouthed-blogger! Poor fellas.

The pleased one in the middle was quite quick on his feet... in retreat. The hunter on the left did the actual deed. Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky on the right was mostly tagging along for the fun of it all.

The trophy is in the bottom of the pink water bottle.

I asked the conqueror how he killed the wasp. The response I got was a highly entertaining reenactment with facial expressions that made me wish I'd had the camcorder instead of the digital camera. I had to add the wasps, of course, since he'd already killed the real one.

My youngest son was perfectly content with his living ladybug.

Ah, my champions.... Killers of bees and catcher of ladybugs.

W.O.W. Update

2009-04-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

So this wasn't the bookshelf I committed to, but I did work on it a little as I was taking books from my work table. This little angelic-looking thing has been absolutely no help. This is a rare smile for today. Usually she's been throwing little fits. Ugh!

This doesn't look like much but the clear bin in the middle was overflowing with papers that are now organized into the file basket to the right of it. The blue trash can (far right) is now overflowing. :) The books to the upper left are still not good, but so much better. I still have 1 1/2 more days!

Within One Week (or 3 days)

2009-04-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

WOW... Within One Week

This is a fun little git r done game I'm playing on Becky's blog. It actually started last Wednesday and I'm only starting it today. Boy, do I have my work cut out for me! Here are a few before pictures so you can be praying for me. :)

This is my table in the front room. My plan is for it to be cleared off at all times to be available for homework, bill-paying, letter writing, and even scrapbooking.

These are the shelves to the left of my table. It will contain... oops, I knew I should have written down my hubby and I's ideas. Oh well, I'm sure it will come to me.

Well I'd better get to work! I'm looking forward to posting my accomplishments and I can't wait to see everyone else's after pictures. Aren't before and after pictures fun????

Doom and Gloom with a Silver Lining

2009-04-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Things that make me so sad... (and mad!)

Senate passed the Give Act.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/03/18/house-readies-passage-volunteerism-critics-pricey-forced-service/

http://www.rightsidenews.com/200904134373/editorial/the-give-act-should-be-called-the-take-act.html

Abortion

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/23/obama.abortion/

Things that frighten me...

"If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." (John 15:19)

"On the other hand, the Republican operatives, led by former Senate Majority Leader Dick Armey’s Freedomworks organization, have been able to tap into a permanent anti-tax minority that, along with religious conservatives, libertarians, and other fringe groups, anchors the right wing of the GOP. These “drown government in a bathtub” zealots don’t need a logical reason to protest taxes, they are against them on principle. Though constantly praising their good fortune for living in “freedom,” they believe they have little obligation to support — through taxes — the nation that makes their life possible." From a columnist in our local paper.

I'm not ready to be called a zealot or an anarchist. But it's coming...

Things I am thankful for...

My hope is in Jesus!

Isaiah 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Sent to me from a dear friend via FaceBook.

I am thankful that I am not facing these things alone. God goes before me and He gave me a faithful husband and dear friends to share the burden.

Just Do It!

2009-04-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

I will save you all the drama/trauma of what led up to this little realization. Let's just say that I've been very selfish and am realizing, yet again, that it isn't about me! It's about Him. I've strayed.... again. Earlier this evening I was in tears. I was feeling quite defeated. I began praying and opened the Bible. 1 Chronicles 28:9,10.

9 "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. 10 Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.

This passage was so encouraging to me. It was a bit disappointing at first, "David summoned all the officials of Israel to assemble at Jerusalem:..." I thought, Oh great, I ask for a Word and He gives me Chronicles? But God is Faithful. He loves me. The wretched, selfish, lazy worm that I am. He is so GOOD!!!!
I keep looking at me. At what I can or cannot do. What I have done or haven't done. I take pride in those little Make-Me-Proud Mommy Moments. I beat myself up over those not-so-proud Mommy Moments. I look around and wonder what people think of my parenting skills. I worry that grandparents think I'm being too hard on my kiddos. Or that my hubby thinks I'm too lax. Do you see all those I's? Wow! So then I start berating myself for being selfish... Oh, I forgot. I was going to spare you the drama details. How about some more of Him, instead?

Mom - one... Kid - zero!

2009-04-14T15:09:00.000-07:00

I just had an incredibly empowering Mommy Moment! My 8 year old was not at the parent pick up area at school. My 7 year old was there along with my 6 year old, but no 8 year old. 7 year old informed me that 8 year old had forgotten his water bottle in the classroom and had gone back to retrieve it.
So we waited. And waited. I started wondering if I should call the school office and have him paged on the overhead when he came around the corner. He was moseying at a "not a care in the world" pace and once stopped to watch a kid on the playground. So I did what any Love and Logic Parent would do. I drove off. I got a little bit of a look from one of the teachers, but after I drove around the block and came back to get him, he was "a humble 8 year old, a sad and small 8 year old, an 'oh, momma, am I glad to see you, 8 year old.'"
And the wonderful teacher waiting beside him gave me the nod. The nod that says, "Good job, mom!" The one us often-insecure mommies don't see nearly often enough.

myspace layouts

Happy Easter!

2009-04-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

If this doesn't work go to www.klove.com. It's the video on the home page.

Pampered Piggies

2009-04-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

My favorite store had a sale a few weeks ago. I told my hubby that I was going to purchase a $40 shirt for $25, but ended up spending over $70. I came home with a really cute pair of capris and 2 blouses. Plus, they had a drawing for a local hair & nails salon and I won a gift certificate! Woo-Hoo! I knew exactly what I would use it for... Tuesday I received my first ever pedicure. My feet are quite ticklish and I get nervous when I cut my own toenails, so I was a bit apprehensive. For no reason! It was so incredibly relaxing. What a treat!
If you haven't gotten one yet, you should! Ask for one for your anniversary, birthday, Easter gift. :) Whatever! But go get one.... NOW! Your little tootsies will thank you. Be careful though, I hear they can be addictive. I have a friend who gets one once a month. What I think I will do is use them as a major reward for certain goals I have. I'll keep you posted.
Have you treated your toes lately? I'd love to hear about it! What's your favorite nail polish color? My toes are currently showing off Opi's The Big Break . I was tempted to go with Didgeridoo Your Nails... Nail polish names are so much fun!

I just logged on to play a quick little game...

2009-04-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

I love Facebook! I used to play Bejewelled Blitz, Pathwords, and chat... a lot. Now I take a quiz from time to time but it has been forever since I chatted.
Tonight as I was cooking dinner, I put the garlic bread in the oven on broil. Rather than set a timer, I figured by the time it took to play a quick little game of Bananagrams (Thanks to my Texas friend!) the bread would be done to perfection. But as I was getting ready to play, the little chat window popped up in the lower right corner of my screen. (Thanks to my musical friend!).
We had a nice little chat until...

.......

..........

I am not addicted to Facebook... I am not addicted to Facebook...

... I am not addicted to facebook!

Candle on the Water

2009-04-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

Daniel has started doing something that I'm not too fond of. We watch musicals together and I sing along just like always, but now he puts his hand over my mouth and sternly says, "Don't do that momma!" Not so sure what THAT'S all about! He used to like me singing in his ear with Helen Reddy or Mulan. Oh well. My baby boy is growing up... and apparently developing some taste in music...
I rented Pete's Dragon for the boys the other day. Brendan loved it. Especially when I told him that "Candle on the Water" was our song. Daniel liked parts of it. He did not care much for the Gogans, the storm at the end, or my singing. Go figure. I absolutely love that movie!
Sharon Jaynes wrote a book called, "Being a Great Mom Raising Great Kids." I started reading it around the same time I watched Pete's Dragon with my kiddos. God has some amazing timing! I am a visual learner and often think in pictures. So I already had the picture of a lighthouse and being a "candle on the water" as a positive image for a mom. Then I read the following quote from Jaynes' book:

"A mother whose children rise up and call her blessed is much like a stately lighthouse. She has a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. Her walls of faith are constructed to withstand the storms of life, and her primary function is to house the light of Christ. This mother is an immovable constant in her child's life, a landmark along life's journey, ,and a guiding light that points her child to the safe harbor of home and eventually out to sea."

Within days of reading this I received an e-mail devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Lysa TerKeurst was having mommy doubts just prior to speaking at a parenting convention because one of her kids had been called into the principal's office. Lysa recognized the importance of seeking God's definition of who she is rather than letting "moments define her." What wisdom! And what Godly timing!
Lately, as in for the past four to six months, I feel like I have been chasing my tail. I have been reacting to how the kids act rather than setting the tone for my family and modeling sane behavior. It's been like a ping-pong game. I let the kids bring worms to school. I'm a good mom. I lost my cool with my 8 year old. I'm a bad mom! Back and forth, day by day, minute by minute. I've whined to my hubby. I've whined to my mom. I've whined on FaceBook. I've whined to my poor little darlings! I've whined to God... and I am finally starting to listen... to Him. I just love how God can speak through books and blogs, moms and music, husbands and Helen Reddy... :)

I receive e-mail reminders from FlyLady. Yesterday this was in one of her e-mails:

"...forget your perfect offering,
there's a crack in everything.
That's where the light gets in."

A quote by Leonard Cohen that someone had sent in to her.

This mommy, cracks and all, will work on being a lighthouse for her children. With a "solid foundation in Jesus Christ," "walls of faith...to withstand the storms of life," not to mention a lovely singing voice... I will seek to be an "immovable constant" in my childrens' lives. Mommies don't have to be perfect to reflect the Sonlight.

Is my glass half empty?

2009-04-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is what I was pondering before drifting off to sleep last night...

Our house filled with five children goes through milk rather quickly. Each of the boys has two bowls of cereal for breakfast, baby has a bottle at night and one mid morning, not to mention the macaroni and cheese! When that gallon jug is empty, we're out of milk. It's time to go to the store for more or it's a whiny baby and pb&j for breakfast for the boys. And only water to wash those sandwiches down! Yuck! We don't have a cow and we don't have a milkman. We just run out.

Smiles are a little different. Seems the more you smile the more you feel like smiling. It doesn't matter how many smiles you give away during a day, you always have more to give. That goes with hugs and kisses, too.

They have Wii games for grownups designed to exercise your brain. Experts tell us that the more you use that organ, the stronger, smarter, that organ becomes. But ask your trainer at the gym and they will tell you to rest your pecs for a day before you work them out again. Muscles grow better after a brief resting period.

Well, what about creativity? Can you run out of it like milk? Or is it more like a smile, the more you use, the more you seem to have? Here is my fear. If I spend all my creative juices on cleaning the house and beautifying our bedroom, will I have any left for scrapbooking or writing? Will someone please tell me that I am better off not to spend all my creative energy on rearranging furniture or placing pictures on my walls? Shouldn't I save it for something much more, um, fun? Does creativity, like my brain, improve with continual exercise? Or should I rest by taking naps between creating scrapbook pages and writing blog posts?

Any help in this matter is greatly appreciated! I will delete all comments that suggest that I do housework. Just kidding.

Happy Birthday to me...

2009-03-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am 39 years old today. In fact almost to the minute as I type this.
Here are a few pictures of when I was young... younger.

I was almost 4 years old in that picture. I love the t.v. No flat screens back then. But at least, unlike my hubby, we had electricity. (JK honey!)

This second picture is possibly from kindergarten.
My hubby bought me a dozen red roses this morning... my sisters brought me a beautiful tote bag filled with fun things... including a Glinda from the Wizard of Oz magnet to remind me to be a GOOD witch! That makes me laugh. Then I just went out to put some frozen pizzas in our freezer and there is a birthday cake hiding there!
Well, I'm off to enjoy the rest of my birthday.

Connections in Charlotte

2009-03-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

I just checked the internet for flights to Charlotte, NC. The cheapest one is just over $300.00. If I want a no-connections flight, it would be closer to $500.00. Suddenly there it was... the angle for my blog post for the She Speaks Conference scholarship entry. (Go to Lysa Tyerkurst's post for more information!) Connections! Of course I want connections. That's why I want to go to the She Speaks Conference in the first place!
Proverbs 31 Ministries' She Speaks Conference offers connections:

Connections with God and His calling in your life.
Connections with kind-hearted professionals with a desire to teach their trade.
Connections with other writers/speakers/leaders.
Connections with publishers.

My morning ritual involves opening three windows on my computer while waiting for the coffee to brew. My blog, FaceBook, and e-mail. My husband, in jest, accuses me of being addicted to the computer. He is only partly right. I am addicted to connections. As a stay at home mom, most of my connections (at least with grown ups) just happen to be found on the computer.
I love connecting with people. I love the fellowship with other Christians. I love meeting people who run in different circles than myself, learning about them and their beliefs, and showing them my connection to Jesus. I love connecting with God through prayer and reading His Word.
I also love to write. I used to say “I live to write.” It used to be that unless I wrote about something it was not real to me. I still have my notebook from my 9th grade Language Arts class where I sat across from a really cute boy. One day I kept accidentally making eye contact with him. Okay, I was staring at him and he was catching me at it! I could feel my face growing warmer and redder. I needed to vent. Having no friends in that class, I started a conversation within my notebook, “Eek! He just looked at me.” “Don't look at him!” “Whoa! He looked at me again!” This is an embarrassingly silly example, but that moment is still etched in my memory. Because I wrote about it.
I have a suitcase filled with letters I never mailed. My personality, my beliefs, my first boyfriends, my life was continually expressed through ink on paper. Then my life changed. I gave myself to Christ. I became a different person. I stopped writing.
There are several possible reasons why:

-My confidence took a nose dive.
-As a new Christian I felt I had little or nothing to offer.
-My freshest writing in the past was, well, fresh. And not like lilacs in the spring. More like the birds and the bees in the spring. Not explicit but not Christ-edifying, either.
-“The writer's life is a lonely life.” I am not sure if I am quoting my mother or my creative writing professor. Probably both.

I can no longer, however, resist the urge to write. I have been recognizing it as encouraging whispers from my Father in Heaven. I have started to re-find my voice through listening to His voice. The She Speaks Conference might just be what is needed for a “revival in my calling.”
Do you feel the same pull? Go to the She Speaks Conference website and find out that this conference could be just what YOU need!

A Rather Blustery Day

2009-03-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

We had our first big wind of the season yesterday afternoon. I kept hoping Mary Poppins would drift into our yard. Unfortunately she was a no-show. Also unfortunate, my camera's batteries were not charged, but picture the little boy and girl in The Cat in the Hat when they were sitting at the window watching the drizzly day... only there were five children in our window and they were ecstatic! They kept giving us minute-by-minute updates.

"The chair is moving again!"

"The power lines are moving!"

"The gate flew open!"

Even our little 16 month old Princess sat wide-eyed in a big kid chair watching with the boys. Once they all paraded to the north side of the house because one of the kids spotted a trash sack in a tree... way high up in a tree. Then we were all drawn back to the kitchen window when our 6 year old frantically yelled, “The lawn chair is sliding into the alley!” So with all five of our children watching at the window, dh and I ventured out to rescue the chair and re-latch the gate.
As soon as we got outside I had a devious plan, “Wouldn't it be funny if we acted like we were blowing away in the wind?” Hubby went first. He pretty much blew straight to the gate, but then he held onto it as if for dear life. My performance involved more spinning and arm flailing. Then we blew into the alley and hid around the side of the neighbor's fence laughing... or catching our breath. The 7 year old had been talking to me through the open window when hubby started blowing toward the alley. But suddenly all inside were silent. Once we were out of sight, we could hear the 6 year old yell, “Bob and Jenny just blew away!” Our sensitive 5 year old started to squeak fearfully, so we came back in the yard to put their little minds at ease.
While we were still in the alley we noticed the 4 year old neighbor boy watching from his window. He was quickly joined by his big brother. We were quite proud to have gotten six kids with one stunt.
Some might call it mean. We call it revenge... sweet revenge...

When I Googled "Windy umbrella" I found this silly picture of my favorite President. I figured I'd post it since I've been quite missing him.

2009-03-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

The Armor of God

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

My boys were so excited after Awana the other night. They got to help teach the other kids in their class about putting on the "armor of God." My 6 year old was a little surprised that other children had not heard about the sword of the spirit or the breastplate of righteousness. I'm so proud of them!
On a somewhat related note, did you all know that you are apparently supposed to take your shoes off before going into Chic-Fil-A? I might be exaggerating a bit, but I was told by family members that it was a "holy place." No wonder they don't come with us on Tuesday nights! Oh brother! Do you ever feel like that family on the Simpsons? With the boys and their dad always singing, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart." That stupid show sure painted Christians in a bad light, didn't it? It's hard to be a witness for Christ when people think you're an intolerant fool. And apparently Chic-Fil-A is a meeting place for our cult or something! I'm a little miffed, can you tell?
A p.s. to said family members if you read this... Don't worry, I'll get over it. I love you! Even if you do think I'm a weirdo. :)

Spring Renewal or Cleaning

2009-03-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

One of the things I look forward to the most in Spring is Spring Cleaning. Not the sweep out the cobwebs, beat the rugs, wash the windows Spring Cleaning. The kind of Spring Cleaning I get excited about is when everyone in the city puts their garbage out into the street. Then little front-end-loaders and men with shovels fill large city dump trucks that make their way to the dump. My kids and I sit at the window or in the driveway and watch. A few years ago the mini front end loader split our old hand-me-down, stained, torn, couch in two pieces before lifting it into the dump truck. Six kids and I cheered from our "new" couch at the front window. Spring Cleaning is the cheapest and easiest way my family gets rid of a lot of strangling clutter.
Getting rid of the clutter from my brain often proves to be more difficult. The only solution I can think of, besides expensive therapy that probably wouldn't work anyway, is to replace the various, often contradicting, voices in my head with the Truth. My refreshing Spring habit will be simply to breathe... Inhale God's Word through reading the Bible, and exhale through prayer and journaling.
I also plan to read posts on Internet Cafe Devotions for more ideas on rejuvenation & renewal.
Happy Spring!

Our Song

2009-03-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

At the end of Open Season 2 all the little animals start singing, "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you." Thanks to the Veggie Tales Junior's Bedtime Songs CD I received as a baby shower gift, I've been singing that song to my son for almost 6 years now. Tonight I crooned along with the critters as we finished watching the movie, quipping, "They're singing our song!" Daniel just loves when I do that. He also loves when I cry during movies. He was NOT very impressed, however, that I actually got up and danced during parts of Mama Mia. I'm learning the fine art of Embarrassing Your Offspring.
As we cuddled in bed after the movie, he made me sing, "the Open Season song" two times before he drifted off to sleep.

2009-02-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ

Procrastination Post

2009-02-04T11:52:00.001-08:00

It's time to write! Ok, it's time to clean. I have been wanting to get back into blogging, but I have so much to do still around the house. I will resist the temptation to write and write to avoid some of the housework that needs done. I will, however, get back into the habit of writing every day. Even if it's just to say, "No more procrastinating! Time to get to work!"
Have a wonderful Wednesday whether it's word-filled, Word-filled, or wordless.

I'm missing all my friends in Blog-Land!

2009-01-20T21:22:00.000-08:00

I am on my hubby's laptop for only the 2nd time in the past two weeks. We've torn our house upside down and inside out and are just now putting things back together. We had our upstairs floors finished (hardwood floors were hiding under carpet). Hubby and I moved all the furniture downstairs and tore up the carpet from about 5pm to 2am Sunday a couple weeks ago. Then we took the kids to the Hot Springs Pool and hotel for the night. We got home the next night at about 9pm but we couldn't get in our house because the front room floors were still wet and we didn't have a key to the back deadbolt. We had to stay at another hotel! Then within 2 days of having the hardwood floors re-finished, we had carpet installed downstairs. That meant bringing all of the upstairs- things back upstairs and moving all the downstairs things to one half of the downstairs or upstairs so they could lay carpet. The carpet was finished Saturday afternoon and we had my extended family (27 of us) over for a late Christmas party that night. WOW! Crazy timing. My hubby was so sweet though to do this and to think to do this before all my relatives came over.
I will write more now that I have more regular access to the laptop. Hopefully I will SOON have my computer back up. 3 out of the 4 kids beds are up. We still have a fish tank in our bedroom, but it is no longer blocking my dresser (I've been rewashing the same 2 or 3 outfits).
I just wanted to let you all know I haven't forgotten about you and I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I miss you guys! I'm anxious to get back into the Biblical Submission Bible Study. For now it feels like a major accomplishment just to post this much!
<3 Jenny

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T15:43:00.001-08:00

I was in my kitchen preparing chili, contemplating my sticky floors and cluttered counters. Maybe if I played a game with myself I could get motivated to clean my kitchen and keep it clean? I thought, "Oooh, what if someone was coming to my house? Someone like a King or someone really important." Then it hit me. Duh! Who is more important to me than my husband? Ouch! Really, why do I rush to clean the house when company is coming, but allow it to get this bad for my hubby and dear children. In my kids' words, "That's not fair!"
My New Year's Resolution is only this, to run all things through the following priority filter (thanks to Sunny!): God First, then Husband, Kids 3rd, House 4th, Ministry 5th.
My hubby and I are going to take an evening this next week to talk and create a plan for 2009. We've been haphazardly flopping this way and that. Getting things done as they hit us, but not really with plan or purpose. No more! It's time we use the resources that God gives us for Him and for His plans rather than for our whimsies.
Having said all this.... please pray! :)

I've got my 8!

2008-12-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

My kiddos are all here (except the 3 who went home with their parents). Our three who are staying with their uncle across state are here for 3 nights! :) It's been WONDERFUL! I would be so happy if we could somehow keep this lovely, large, hectic group of kiddos. My oldest girl is downstairs singing with my niece on the American Idol PlayStation game we got for Christmas. My 7 year old and 6 year old boys are watching them. The other group is up here playing with Transformers. I love the sound of them laughing together. Ahhhhhhhh..... Music to my ears. It will be sad tomorrow when the three leave.
Happy Monday everyone!

Catchin' Up...

2008-12-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

Good morning, happy Thursday! My 5 year old was sick yesterday... still a little today but much, much better. My Almost-8-year old has been pushing the limits for the past couple weeks. Probably Christmas coming... he also found out recently that he wouldn't be seeing his biological dad until after the holidays, like WAY after the holidays. Poor kiddo.
We have an anual Christmas party with all the extended relatives. We're doing it at our house this year. I thought I was just volunteering the place, but ended up having to be the time/date coordinator as well. I guess that makes sense. But we finally, just this morning, found a day/time that seems like it will work for everyone. That took a week.
Christmas shopping, Christmas parties, not much Bible Study. There was a Proverbs 31 Ministry e-mail devotional recently that asked the question, "Are you ready for Christmas?" And how most of us respond with our lists of what we have left to do for the festivities. But am I ready, READY, for Christmas? Have I been preparing my heart? Have I been feasting on His Word? Have I quieted my heart to listen to His voice instead of all the hustle and bustle? Have I been teaching my children about Christmas and all that it means?
Today is a house-cleaning day... Physically clean the kitchen... and spend some time with my Saviour to "clean" my heart.
I may even turn off my computer. :)

"Whenever I feel like cleaning, I lie down until the Feeling Goes Away!"

2008-12-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

I'm in a slump! Must get out of it! Do it, Just do it!

Menu Plan Monday

2008-12-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

Here goes... My first ever Weekly Menu Plan Monday post. Woo-Hoo! My hubby will be so pleased! So will the kids. No more conversations like the common ones below:
7 year old "What are we gonna eat for dinner?"
Mom - "I don't know yet."
"Can we go out to eat?"
"Why?"
"That way you don't have to cook."
Isn't he sooooo sweet to be so concerned about me!
Another conversation goes like this:
Kid - "What are we gonna eat?"
Mom - "I don't know yet."
Kid - "Can we get something at a drive up?"
Or if I'm lacking inspiration (which is always) I'll sometimes ask the kids what they want to eat. My 5 year old invariably responds with, "Chicken nuggets, french fries, and a toy!"
Then again, perhaps the kids won't be all that pleased to have mommy know before 5pm what we'll be having for dinner. I have a feeling our pizza nights and drive-through dinners will be decreased drastically!

Monday - Sloppy Joes & Mac n Cheese & Pork n Beans
Tuesday - Chic-Fil-A (family night - cheap & fun)
Wednesday - Crockpot lasagna, salad, canned fruit
Thursday - Meatloaf with baked potatoes (maybe even twice-baked) salad, peas
Friday - Dinner out with hubby so pizza or hot dogs for kids & babysitter
Saturday - Tomato soup & grilled cheese sandwiches
Sunday - Spaghetti, corn, canned fruit

Nothing fancy. Just trying to get in the habit of writing it down.
Have a super week!

So Proud

2008-12-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the grocery store and ONLY bought the items on my list. I am so proud of myself! Not even one tiny impulse buy! I did make one switch... The bananas were all green so I bought apples instead. Do you realize how much money I'll save if I keep sticking to my list? What? You do realize how much a person could save? Huh, guess it's just me. Seriously, I am so far behind on all things home-maker-ish. When we were first married, okay, even up to five years ago, I would ponder and search and ask people... How do I clean my kitchen? Mom, if you're reading this, it's not your fault! I learned so many life lessons from my parents (even see my list and the comments on Saturday's post). Anyway, I guess I just never really wanted to learn how to be a home-maker. Now I'm seeing the importance of having a menu plan (see tomorrow's post! Wahoo! Now I have to do one.), a budget, an inkling of how much money pictures are going to actually cost before I have my children do 4 poses at the studio (another story), having routines that include decluttering and picking up dinner dishes,... I could go on, but I think I've embarrassed myself enough! I just am so tickled pink that I actually STUCK TO MY LIST!!!!!!!!!! Go me! :) Happy Sunday evening/Monday morning. I will have my meal plan up by noon. Okay, by afternoon, by evening at the latest... Okay, by noon-ish. :)

Have you Ever?

2008-12-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

Have you Ever?
This is going around and thought it would be a easy blog post.
You BOLD the ones you HAVE done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - In the process now!
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - Taco Bell - the next person in the drive-up
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance - not as a patient but as a ride-along
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud - just two years ago we were redoing our lawn and hubby purposefully made a big mud pit for the kids (and me) to play in
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - It was a local fire department training one :)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
89. Saved someone’s life...yes - over the phone as a 911 dispatcher and by leading them to the Lord, and therefore having eternal life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I got this from Dawn's site - It was fun!
Let me know if you do one!

http://theproverbs31journey.blogspot.com/2008/12/this-is-going-around-and-thought-it.html

Friday Fill-Ins on Saturday

2008-12-05T21:57:00.000-08:00

From http://www.fridayfillins.blogspot.com

1. Snow makes everything extra beautiful and peaceful.
2. I'm looking forward to adopting our 2 boys.
3. Flannel is the best material ever!
4. One of my favorite old tv shows is Little House on the Prairie.
5. I'm done with feeling guilty.
6. The most enjoyable thing around the holidays is talking about Jesus.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my hubby coming home after being out of town since Tuesday, tomorrow my plans include meeting my sisters at a photography studio to get pictures of all the grandkids (9 of them) for our parents, (it'll be at 2:30, you might say a prayer around that time!) and Sunday, I want to go to church!

By the time anyone reads my Friday Fill-Ins, it will be Saturday, but since I'm posting at 11:07pm, I'm gonna do it anyway!

Confessions of a Recovering Feminist

2008-12-03T04:54:00.000-08:00

I read the study for Week #4 in Sunny's Biblical Submission Bible Study. I prayed, especially Ephesians 4:29... "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths (my mouth), but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
I picked up my Bible and my Beth Moore Believing God study book... I was just getting ready to sit down to read and study when I was flooded with memories of my old feminist life.

I used to refuse to allow boys/men to open doors for me.
When I was a senior in High School I wrote a paper on the feminist movement relishing all the research that prooved women's superiority.
I read a book "proving" that it was a goddess who formed our world... and believed it.
Would refuse to attend church because of Ephesians 5 - "Wives submit..."
Coughed loudly during a wedding ceremony when the "obey your husband" vow was read
Told "Stupid Men" jokes... in front of my dad
Had quite a collection of buttons/pins that said horrible things about men
Proudly displayed a bumper sticker on the back of my car (from my father) that read, "Men are Idiots and I Married Their King!" (My head is bowed in shame just thinking about that one... my poor hubby.)

The other day I said something to my dad about how I've changed a little bit and he thought I was underestimating the "little bit" part by quite a lot. I also e-mailed an old friend who would be shocked at how I've changed... I give all glory to God. Only He can change a heart the way He's changed mine. Funny because I thank Him for "opening my eyes" but every few weeks or so He opens them more to where I am embarrased for thinking they were "open" before. God is good!

As an afterthought... I've been struggling a lot with low self esteem. Could it be that I was so proud that God has been actually teaching me humility lately?

"But may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world!"

Mugs to Fit My Moods

2008-11-28T08:16:00.000-08:00

My western mug with the pistol.

Makes me feel like a Sherrif!

Power, Determination, a touch of Outlaw!

My Kitty Mug

I like how this one feels in my hand.

So when I'm feeling like snuggling up

to a nice hot cup of java or chocolate milk,

this is the one I want.

For when I'm feeling Ultra Feminine.

Right about this time one of my 7 year olds told my 6 year old,

"She's taking pictures of her coffee cup."

Poor kiddos, sometimes they really do wonder about me...

and with good reason!

My Banished Mugs.

My dh, not understanding my mug for every mood, banished my mugs to the top shelf. (and I'm short!) Now that it's hot cocoa season, I'll probably bring down my Disney mugs for the kids. I've got them trained right because at least one of my boys already has his special mug - The Lion King.

I hope you all have a super day! I will NOT be joining in the shopping madness. I may not even get out of my PJs. Although I do plan on much cleaning in preperation for putting up Christmas Decorations. Yee-Haw!

How to Cook a Turkey

2008-11-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

I asked my kids (ages 5-7), my nephew (5), and my niece (13) if they would give some advice to Aunt Mary on how she should cook the turkey. We're heading over there this evening for our family Thanksgiving Feast. I e-mailed her these directions in case she needed some help with the turkey. But I'm really hoping she already has another recipe!
For the below recipe I took snippets from each of their separate recipes and compiled them. I also printed out their individual recipes, a page with "A few Thankful Quotes", and a blank page titled, "A Few Thankful Notes...". I stapled them together between cardstock and scrapped a little Happy Thanksgiving Title.

How to Cook a Turkey - by my kiddos

What kind of turkey? A real turkey? How about Gobble gobble gobble? You shoot it! Tell Bob to share his gun. If he’ll let us. I don’t know if he will. You cut off the real skin. The feathers. Put liquid on it. Baking soda, so it can be nice and thick. Probably a pinch of onion powder. 1 ½ tablespoons of that parsley stuff. And a bigger pinch of garlic powder. Apples and tomatoes in it. Cherry and banana. And a popsicle and carrot. It’s how you make it. Put cookies on it! (laugh) For reals put cookies on it. That would be nummy! That would be nummy to me. Then you put it in the oven. You cook it for 6 minutes. And then you take it out. And ‘den’ you let it cool off a little bit. I just remembered something else you have to do. You have to cut off its head! And pull out all its guts and blood and belly. Want cheese on it? I like cheese on my turkey. Put out your plates, spoons, forks, knives, cups, napkins, then let the Feast Begin! Then enjoy it. Then put your dishes away and go home.

Happy Thanksgiving.... I certainly hope all of your meals are not quite as, um, tasty, as this one would turn out.

A Few Thankful Quotes

"For three things I thank God every day of my life: Thanks that He has [given me] knowledge of His works; deep thanks that He has set in my darkness the lamp of faith; deep deepest thanks that I have another life to look forward to - a life joyous with light and flowers and heavenly song." ~ Helen Keller

"Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Thessalonians 5:18

“O Lord that lends me life, Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.”
William Shakespeare (Henry VI)

Roses and Love Notes

2008-11-22T18:36:00.000-08:00

I dragged myself up the stairs after my alarm sounded at 6:30 am. I staggered into the kitchen for coffee and stopped short. A dozen beautiful red roses sat in a vase on my kitchen counter. The night before, my hubby went off to fill the gas tank so I wouldn’t have to first thing in the morning. That was incredibly sweet all alone, but apparently he also bought me some flowers.
I made coffee then started my Bible Study. I am currently looking for GodStops in the third 5th of my life. Age 15-22 - otherwise known by my mom and I as, “Sophomore Brain Death.” Tons of sin to drudge up. Anticipating the guilt and heartache from those years, I opened the Bible and uttered something about needing to hear confirmation of God’s love for me before I started remembering those ucky things. I skimmed through John then landed in Romans. Romans 8:31-39 to be exact…

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
What an incredible way to start the day... flowers from my hubby and a love note from my Lord.

2008-11-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

Good morning/evening/afternoon... Okay Happy Thursday!
This is my response to the questions Sunny posed in her Keeping Christ in Christmas Giveaway.

(http://jesusrulzme.blogspot.com/2008/11/keeping-christ-in-christmas-giveaway.html)

At what age did you recognize you were in need of a Savior?
31
Who shared the Gospel with you?
My husband.
What was your first reaction when you heard the Gospel for the first time?
I rejected the Truth as unfair and intolerant. How could a loving God send someone to Hell just because they did not believe in Jesus? How could I believe in words that were written thousands of years ago by men? What about people who have never had the opportunity to hear about Jesus? My husband and I married thinking that our beliefs were fairly similar. Wow, were we wrong! As he started to realize how far off we were (Or how far off I was), he called me a heathen. It was in jest, but it hit a nerve. Anger was another reaction I had to God’s WONDERFUL Good News.
How long did it take you to understand Jesus is the only Savior, repent and trust Him with your life?
I think about a month or two. After my brother-in-law died in June I read Romans and Genesis at the same time and God opened my eyes to the fact that the Bible is FACT. I started reading the Bible with open eyes, trusting it, trusting Him, and talking to my husband. I didn’t pray the “Sinner’s Prayer” and I didn’t have immediate assurance of salvation. I volunteered to be an Awana Leader at the end of August and when they asked me in the interview if I was a “Born Again Christian,” I proudly said “Yes” and floated on Cloud 9 the rest of the day. So I became a Christian sometime between Dan’s death and 9-11. But because I never actually prayed the prayer and I wasn’t changed instantaneously, it took me a while to realize the full impact of having put my trust in Christ. I remember during that summer praying the prayer with different words, or out loud, or in a different order, waiting for the fireworks. Even a year later I expressed some doubts to our pastor and what he said helped immensely. I had also been talking to him about my family and how my parents think I was brainwashed. He told me that was a pretty good indication that I was indeed a new creation. (2 Corintians 5:17) I was baptized in 2003.
How often do you share the Gospel with others?
It varies. It's always bubbling up from within, but mostly to family. I went through a stage where I carried tracks. Now I mainly tell my children and my nieces & nephews, my mom and sisters, the internet.
What plans do you have to become more committed to sharing the salvation in Christ with others?
Ever since November 4th I’ve been convinced that I/we have been silent for too long. Since it seems that we are now in the minority, and I think it is going to get more difficult to share, now is the time to act!
What scares you the most about sharing the Gospel and what Scriptures have helped you overcome those fears?
Rejection… especially from family members. The story in Luke 16 about Lazarus and the rich man convicts me and encourages me to keep preaching while I can.

Some God Thunkin'

2008-11-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

I am in two Bible Studies. I figured it would be okay because one is almost over and the other is just beginning. Well, it just so happens that they are both powerfully insightful requiring much introspection. (Psalm 19:14 and Psalm 139:23,24) The first one is Beth Moore on Believing God. The latest assignment was to go through your life finding all those places that God was there. It is really hard to want to remember some of those times… not the “GodStops,” as she calls them, but what happened just prior. And I actually had a pretty happy childhood! But I’ve been procrastinating, not wanting to be uncomfortable or sad. Basically because I’m a chicken! I found out Sunday that a few of my friends in the study have also procrastinated for the same reasons. One friend mentioned that God did some “thunkin’” on her and she was forced to start delving into her past. She was encouraging and said it was hard but "Oh so Worth It!" Later that night while running errands I was thunked through K-love. This song, Whatever You’re Doing by Sanctus Real was playing and it so hit home. It should be playing on my playlist below. I’ll add a comment with the lyrics. The next two songs spoke to my heart as well: Back in His Arms Again by Mark Schultz and You Never Let Go by Matt Redman. I cried and prayed and although I did not write anything then, I did some sporadic remembering.
When I got home I sat at the piano bench and started flipping through a song book I used to play/sing from when I was younger. It had been in my piano bench forever and forgotten until my 1 year old recently “rearranged” my music. I opened it to the page with one of my favorite songs (The Way We Were) and started playing it and singing along, “Memories may be beautiful and yet, what’s too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget.” Then this morning I remembered another verse that asks, “Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?” Funny though, I actually remembered it as “or has God rewritten every line?” Interesting perspective.
I started writing down some of those memories last night and one of the illuminations was that my niece was born right when I was starting to have doubts about God. I was going to college and had one professor in particular who was very anti-Bible. At this point (September 1995) I was almost totally convinced that God did not exist. Well then my niece was born and I was there at the hospital. When I first saw her, I knew. I no longer doubted. She was just a little miracle and there was no doubt in my mind who made her. I’ve always looked at that as a coincidence. But now looking back I realize that God used her, or at least her timing, to bring me back to Him. I get goose-bumps thinking about it! I will keep this short (Oops. Too late!) because I want to do some more introspection. Here I am anxious to get back to what I had been putting off for so long. God was there all along! Praise Him!
One revelation I had recently had more to do with my second Bible Study, www.biblicalsubmission.blogspot.com. I need to create a family budget. Problem is, HOW? I know kind of the basics, but do any of you have any tips to get me started? This is something my hubby has been asking me to do for a very long time. I just get so overwhelmed with it I put it off and put it off. But when I started doing some homework for Biblical Submission “Budget” was one of the three things I’d written down. Then that night my hubby sweetly asked about it again.
Let’s see what my To Do List looks like… “Budget, Dig up scary emotional past, Clean, Blog…” Oh wait, here’s the more truthful order: “Blog, blog, blog, blog, eat, blog, sleep, blog.” Ha ha ha. And I just got my book, “Body for Life For Women” that I won from Sandy’s lovely blog, www.godspeakstoday.blogspot.com. I’ve got some work to do! Have a blessed Tuesday!!!!

"Mean momma in the whole wide world!"

2008-11-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

Our five year old has been in speech therapy since he was about 2. Miss Amy works with him on various sounds - "p" and "b" etc. and gives him exercises, like sucking pudding through a straw, that work his mouth and tongue muscles. Lately I've been questioning whether we really should be encouraging his communication skills after all. When he is in trouble with me and I have to spank him or send him to time-out, he sputters out several words and sentences, usually in the following order, "Mean!" "Liar liar, pants on fire!" "I'm not gonna be your best friend anymore!" The last one just cracks me up! Where does he get these?
Tonight was a classic. As we were lying in bed talking, singing, trying to get him to fall asleep so I could get up and play on the computer (hee hee) he asked, "Are you the mean momma in the whole wide world?" His question caught me a bit off guard. "No, honey, I don't think so." "Then how come you won't let me brush my teeth with the noisy toothbrush?" We have been letting him use the electric toothbrush. Tonight I had to take it away from him before he felt he was finished. (The internet was calling for me!) He was not a happy camper. We went through the rest of his night-time routine and had been talking quietly and singing songs for about 10 minutes before he astounded me with his adorable accusation. Are we in trouble, or what?

One Touch

2008-11-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

I've been inhaling this song all day. Singing it in the shower, in the car, playing it on my blog, Ipod & Youtube, and just reading the lyrics. There have been a few songs lately that have just really spoken to my heart. One Touch by Nicole C. Mullen is one of them.

International Standard Version Luke 8:43-49
A woman was there who had been suffering from chronic bleeding for twelve years. Although she had spent all she had on doctors, no one could heal her. She came up behind Jesus and touched the tassel of his garment, and her bleeding stopped at once. Jesus asked, "Who touched me?" While everyone was denying it, Peter and those who were with him said, "Master, the crowds are surrounding you and pressing in on you." Still Jesus said, "Somebody touched me, because I know that power has gone out of me." When the woman saw that she couldn't hide, she came forward trembling. Bowing down in front of him, she explained in the presence of all the people why she had touched Jesus and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace."

I had the amazing privilege of watching Nicole C. Mullen perform this song at a Women of Faith Conference last year. There was a dancer with a red ribbon who, when Nicole sang the part where the woman had been healed, dropped the red ribbon and picked up a white one. It was breathtaking. I like how the video addresses other “issues” that can be healed by Jesus.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtPZuNab9UY

Lyrics:

Been ostracized for 12 years
I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had
And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored In this fall

Chorus
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him
Would stop the flow
If He knew would He rebuke me
Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now

If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul.

And then suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles And how...
I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And i know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through this madness
And His love has healed my soul.

Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul.
I tell you He Touched me.
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me Jesus shol' 'nough [[sure enough]]
He touched me... And I know I've been made whole

My intro for A Wife's Biblical Submission Bible Study

2008-11-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

“Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord…” ~~~ Ephesians 5:22

This one verse has been such a major part of my life. It was a stumbling block when I was unsaved. My mom and I would attend church together every once in awhile. But it seemed that every time we would go back, this would be one of the readings. We would cringe, sulk, talk it over begrudgingly, and vow not to go to church again.
Then in 2001 my brother-in-law and I got into an argument about homosexuality. He, his wife, and my other sister-in-law were talking about how they refused to watch a television show when one of the main characters came out of the closet. I was aghast at such intolerance. He showed me something in the Bible to prove his point. I looked up Ephesians 5:22 and handed the Bible back to him. He was a little perplexed because the passage I pointed to was so off the topic.
“Well,” I huffed, “This is just something ELSE that’s in the Bible that I don’t agree with!” Ugh! My poor brother-in-law. I can still see the incredulous look on his face. He went home and looked up passages to try to prove the Bible to me and I went home and looked up passages to prove just how badly women were treated in the Bible. He died in a motorcycle accident before we could finish our debate.
At his funeral the recurrent theme was how he was in Heaven because of Jesus. No one doubted it. I had always been told that it depended on how good you were and it was always a hope, but never an assurance that loved ones would go to Heaven. I started searching the Bible again. But this time I was not looking to proof it errant, I was looking for answers. I started reading Genesis and Romans a little each day and was so thrilled to find out how those two books coincided. It was true! Everything in that Book was absolutely true. I no longer had a doubt. Shortly after that I accepted Jesus as MY savior, not just savior of the world, but savior of ME.
My husband and I celebrated our 10th year of marriage this past May. We have one biological son (5 years old), 2 soon-to-be-adopted sons (7 & 6), a foster son (7) and his sister (1). We have six other foster children who are living with their families but are still part of our lives.
I found this intriguing Bible Study while Blog-hopping through http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/. I’m not sure exactly how I landed on this beautifully encouraging site, but am thankful I did, and looking forward to this study and meeting everyone else!

Building Faith - Entry for Falling for Jesus

2008-10-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

Psalm 105: 1,2 (NKJV)

Oh, give thanks to the LORD!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!

God is just so amazingly good! This morning I felt His presence and blessing so strongly upon our congregation. Our church has been building-less for about five years. (Sometime I will go into the details of how we found grace by leaving Grace and how we came to be called Faith.) We have the land and some money. Most of us want to build a church. After much God-searching over the past few weeks our church elders have come to the conclusion that it truly is impossible, irresponsible, and inappropriate for us to start building a church. Therefore, we will start building a church! This is wonderful news, but perhaps a tiny bit confusing. Allow me to explain.

Years ago our Pastor prayed, wisely, "Lord, please make it impossible for us to build a church." We want God, not us, to build His church, not our church. We set up a building committee and started a building fund. Then because things got a little scary (the inordinate cost of building, negative input at a fragile time, fear from our collective past of losing church buildings), we stopped moving forward with building. We have just been moving from borrowed place to borrowed place, building-less, for a long time.

Partway through the "impossible, inappropriate, irresponsible" sermon, I was getting a little frustrated. It has been so painfully obvious to my family that we should start building and let God ... well LET God period. So when the three I's were introduced with scripture to back them, I found myself almost giving up with the thought, "If our elders are not seeking God (or at least not listening) and now they are using scripture to justify this lack of faith, maybe we do not want to be part of this church after all." I hate even writing that down. I LOVE my church! We have been through so much together. I love our pastor. I love each of our elders and their families. But God is my All In All. I can't be in a church that goes purposefully out of His will.
This morning when it first occurred to me that we were going ahead with building, I remember glancing up from my notes and meeting eyes with one of my best friends whose husband is an elder and dear friend. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. It was so exciting to realize that our church was going to build! I found out later that my dear mother-in-law was having a similar reaction across the room from me; Taking notes, being irritated, thinking, "I guess this is it." To clarify, I would never leave a church family because they didn't do something I wanted them to do, i.e. build a building. It just was so clearly God's will that we build.
I think that is why today was so sweet. It has never really been about building a new church. It has been about building Faith. God has been speaking. We've been praying and listening. God spoke some more... and we heard Him! I just love that! You could feel Him in that room with us. I think we are on the right track!

Psalm 105:3,4

Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD!
Seek the LORD and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-10-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Our family enjoyed dinner at a restaurant last night. It was in the town where dh is a policeman, and since he was working, he wore his uniform. Extra pressure to keep the 1 year old entertained so she doesn’t scream her little head off. We tried crackers, a straw tied in a knot and then french fries finally worked for awhile. When our meal came dh gave her little pieces of his chicken fried steak. I use the term “little” loosely as there was really nothing little about the honkin’ huge pieces of cow he was feeding to that tiny10-toothed infant! Okay, I am exaggerating. But still, I would have probably at least fourth’d those bites before letting her anywhere near them. To my husband’s credit and to my relief, she did just fine and I will no longer be buying baby food.
Midway through the meal, our 7 year old foster son proclaimed to me, quite loudly, “Remember when Bob tried to kill you?” I was just speechless. Less than a week ago I had shocked myself a bit on some wiring from our under-cupboard lights dh had installed in our kitchen. That night at dinner my finger was still a little charred so I got all dramatic and entertained my boys with how I got shocked and, “Look at my finger! Bob tried to kill me!”
Who would have thunk the little guys would have actually believed that? And really, who in the world could have predicted that one of the dear ones would try retelling it loudly in a crowded restaurant in the town where Bob worked, while he was wearing his uniform! Well, apparently dh could have predicted it, for he seethed through bared teeth “They will repeat every thing you say!” Oops! I don’t think anyone heard, and really dh did think it was kind of funny. Phew!
Kids are just so much fun! Remind me of that tomorrow, and the next day, and next week.

Hot Lava and Prayers

2008-10-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Daniel has an Uncle Obsession of sorts. For the longest time Uncle Mike has had top billing, but lately Daniel has been asking a lot of questions and telling stories about his Uncle Dan. Tonight we were snoozling (a Bob-term meaning cuddling prior to snoozing) in bed and Daniel started talking about uncles. (I’ll have to think of how it started, but want to get some of this down before it leaves my brain.) He asked if we could pray to his uncle…the one “that died.”
“No sweetie, we can only pray to God, but we can pray and ask God if He would say Hi to Uncle Dan for us.”
“Yeah, I want to do that.”
So I prayed, “Dear God, we ask that you would tell Uncle Dan hi for us and that we miss him. And thank you so much for his love for you and the way he believed the Bible.” Then Daniel asked how he died. He knows it was a motorcycle. I told him that another car ran into him. Okay, how much information is too much information for a 5 year old? I don’t know. But he asks about it sometimes and I try to tell him the truth.
“Was it a bad guy?”
“No, it was a little old lady.”
Long silence and then this sweet little five-year-old voice declares, “I want that girl to die.”
Wow!
I told him how she didn’t mean to do it. “You know how mommy sometimes runs over the curbs in the van and I say, ‘Oops, I ran into a curb!’ I don’t do it on purpose, I’m just not being very careful. Mommy is not a bad guy. Same with that girl. She didn’t mean to. She just wasn’t very careful. She’s still sad about it sometimes.”
“Can we pray for her?”
WOW!
“Sure.”
This time Daniel prayed. “God please tect (protect) the girl and not make her be sad.” Or something like that. I can’t remember the words he used. Just the meaning and that it was his idea to pray and just how incredible it was to witness that kind of faith in a five-year-old.

* * * * * *

Now I remember part of how this whole conversation got started. It was, of all things, hot lava! Daniel and his brothers have been playing the typical childhood game where you try not to step on carpet (or the colored tiles, or the rug, etc.) because it’s “hot lava.” So he’s been talking about hot lava lately.
“I don’t want to go in hot lava.” He states just matter-of-factly.
“No, that would hurt.” I agree.
“Where is hot lava?”
“Hawaii.”
“Hawaii? Where’s Hawaii?” I told him how Hawaii was some islands in the Pacific Ocean. “Hawaii has hot lava?”
“Yep.”
“Whoa, how did God do that, Jenny?”
Then Daniel started telling me about how, “Some guy had hot lava and made metal.” And something about an airplane.
I asked him, “Where did you learn about all this?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you learn it at school?”
“No, I don’t think at McDonalds… or Chic-Fil-A.”
“Did you watch a movie about it?”
“Yeah I think at my uncle’s… my uncle that died.” Which is not possible since Dan died two years before Daniel was born. But Daniel has made up stories about Uncle Dan before. In the past it would have really freaked me out thinking it was some sort of reincarnation or a ghost, but I think he is just trying to make Uncle Dan more real to him because he’s obviously real to Bob and I. Maybe he thinks he should remember Uncle Dan so he invents memories.
One of the reasons we think Daniel has this ongoing obsession with uncles, other than the obvious fact that he has some incredibly awesome uncles, is because he lives with his mommy and daddy. Now, that might not make a whole lot of sense to those who are in “normal” families. But in our family our kids take turns praying for each other’s moms who are, or have been, in jail. Daniel, not wanting to be left out, started praying for his uncle, who recently moved to Texas. While the kiddos make pictures and write letters for their moms, Daniel makes pictures and writes letters for his uncle. At dinner and at bedtime the other boys will often add, “and Daniel’s uncle” after they’ve asked God to protect their moms. I smile each time they do that knowing how a certain uncle would definitely appreciate these innocent, unknowing, and unspecific prayers.

Alright already!

2008-10-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am writing this only because I have to. DH was peering over my shoulder the other day and said, "You haven't written since August?" So, here. I'm writing. And even though it's nonsense, it actually feels kind of good.
I've been blogging..... just READING instead of WRITING! One thing that struck me tonight was after watching part of the debate I found a thread on a FlyLady BlogTalk Radio Forum about "Feeling unsettled." Many people are scared of what's going on in the economy, unsure about Iran, hesitant about the future of America in general. I will have to write about this later. Why? Well, I guess I don't really. Just that the good Guy wins. God wrote history ahead of time. It's not going to be real pretty at times. But Good wins. He wins. Halleluiah!

Bad Mom Award

2008-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

My dear Mother-in-law hates snakes. HATES them! When her children were little, she saw a garden snake in a ditch. Her youngest son (I think about three years old at the time) almost went for a swim because she pushed against him to get as far away from the snake as possible. A few years ago I took some pictures of our then two year old “petting” a snake. She refused to look at the pictures.
Last Sunday after church we made a visit out to the family farm to set a bullfrog free (another story). My three boys saw a snake wriggling in the lawn. Where was my Mother-in-law? In the house, probably standing on top of something tall. I don’t mind snakes, at least not the little non-poisonous ones. I picked it up and the boys took turns holding it. I was told, in no uncertain terms that after playing with the snake, I was to kill it or fling it across the road. "Fling" was accompanied by the action of arm swinging overhead lasso-style. I don’t kill things bigger than spiders. I told the boys to say goodbye to the snake. Then with 3 pairs of innocent eyes watching I flung the snake to a skidding halt in the middle of the far lane of the highway. After not moving for a good thirty seconds, it started slithering toward our side of the road. Like an idiot I yelled at it, “Go back! Go to the OTHER side of the road!” Then, wouldn’t you know it, here comes a large truck towing a boat. Smush! “Go inside boys.” “Is it dead?” “Go inside.” Fortunately for me it wiggled. “It’s moving!” “Go inside!” As I escorted my three now hopeful little boys into the house under orders to wash their hands with soap and warm water, I told my hubby he needed to come outside. “You didn’t throw it all the way across, did you?” “Nope.” “It got hit, didn’t it?” “Yep.” Hubby kicked it the rest of the way across the road then found a creepy crawly diversion for our sons in the form of a caterpillar.
Rewind to about two weeks before when my dad had just finished babysitting. My six year old invited me outside to see a “bee with no wings that can’t fly.” On my way out the door my dad asked me to, “take care of it.” It was a wasp and it had wings. My middle, most tenderhearted, son stood watching while I stomped his little pet to smithereens. The look on his face was heart-wrenching. Bad mom! Bad mom! Poor critters! Bad mom!

Decluttering Challenge

2008-08-01T08:30:00.001-07:00

Two boxes (overfilling & damaged) full of phone systems have been in our driveway since March. We tried to FreeCycle them but someone took the new ones and left the old ones. Hubby was not impressed. Then instead of getting rid of them, we let them sit in our driveway until we could make a decision. This Friday morning, aka "Trash Day," I made a decision. :) http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog/?p=1189

Bad Guys, Super Heroes, and Jesus

2008-07-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

Ah, the sounds of brothers playing nicely together.
“I got up and you say, ‘Whoa, I thought you died.’” my 7 year old commands.
“Whoa, I thought you died.” My 6 year old obeys and continues with, “Then I jump over the building and you say, ‘He is good!’”
“He is good.” Says the 7 year old with the same impressed-sounding emphasis on good.
This is how my boys often play. They narrate and direct each other. I really need to get them recorded before they grow out of this adorable phase. Meanwhile, my 5 year old son is asking, “Does Robin die? Does Batman die? Is Robin a boy? Can Robin die?”
Obviously my sons are big super hero fans. We even live with our very own super hero. My husband is a policeman. The forces of good verses evil seem to be the topic of conversation much of our day. If they’re not pretending, they’re asking questions. One of my recent favorites was, “Do bad guys sleep?” How did they come up with that one?
One day, I'm sure at God's prompting, I fired some questions right back at them. I asked, “What do bad guys do?”
“They kill people.”
Of course. “What else do they do?”
“They steal stuff.”
“Oh, like you stole that candy from your brother? Hmmmm, You’re a bad guy. Do bad guys lie?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok. Well you lied to me this morning. That means you’re a bad guy, too. Do bad guys say bad words?”
Now all three boys are a little more hesitant, “Yeah.”
“Mommy has said bad words before. I guess I’m a bad guy.” I really had their attention now. “We’re all bad guys. We all do things that are wrong. We sin. That’s why Jesus died for us.”
I don’t know if they totally understood, but one morning I overheard the following,
“I’m Batman!”
“I’m Spiderman!”
“I’m Jesus!”
I pray that someday my boys will see Jesus as their One True Super Hero!

Living for the Moment

2008-07-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

I am reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. I just finished reading the chapter about living for the moment verses focusing on Jesus. “Our life will follow where we choose to focus our vision.” I have definitely been more of a living-life-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. My house shows it. My body shows it. This afternoon I went to grab an ice-cream bar out of the freezer. Just as I reached for it words from Lysa's book came to mind, “living for the moment.” So I left the ice-cream in the freezer where it will do me the most good. I repeated those words a couple of times out loud, “living for the moment” and it occurred to me to ask a question. Have I been living for the moment or have I been living for that moment when I see Jesus face to face? I am ashamed to admit that I have been focused on my own personal comfort. Day by day, moment by moment. Falling for the all too familiar if-it-feels-right-at-the-time-do-it mentality. So my latest thought is that it is okay to live for the moment… as long as that moment is His and not mine.

Perserverance

2008-07-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 12:12-13 "So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong."

Just prior to reading this I was sitting on my fanny gathering up energy. I do this quite frequently. I'm really not sure where I think all the energy is going to come from or how it's going to find me while I'm daydreaming or snoozing. Anyway, I'm taking this scripture to heart this weekend. "Tired hands... shaky legs" sure describe me lately. "Mark out a straight path for your feet." In context this is setting your sights on Jesus. I also think it would help me to plan my days. Then those who follow me... (my kiddos?) can see a little bit of Jesus in me. I need to take more seriously this precious role that God has placed me in. My little guys are watching me. They immitate me. Berto and I will listen to them arguing in the next room and my hubby will raise his eyebrows at me condemningly when he hears one of them using one of my sarcastic remarks. Ooops. Why don't they ever copy the really intelligent things I say? Okay, they do that all the time. Just never in front of witnesses. Ha ha

Dear Father, please help me to make that straight path with you as the goal. I've been feeling convicted by Paul's analogy of the race for years now. Probably because Christianity is a marathon and not a sprint. Father, please help me to stay focused on you. Help me to be a Christian example for my kiddos and family. Please allow me to get a firmer grip with these tired hands. Thank you for your Living Word. Your Holy Spirit as guide. Friends and blogs who help keep me accountable. An understanding and patient husband. Supportive family.

Building Faith

2008-07-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

God is just so amazingly Good! He has been especially astounding me lately. Then this morning I felt His presence and blessing so strongly upon our congregation. I get misty-eyed thinking about it now hours later. Our church has been buildingless for about 5 years. Sometime I will go into the details of how we found grace by leaving Grace and how we came to be called Faith. We have the land and some money. Most of us want to build a church. After much God-searching over the past few weeks our church elders have come to the conclusion that it truly is Impossible, Irresponsible, and Inappropriate for us to start building a church.... therefore we will start building a church! Amen! Closed fist thrown up in the air with loud, "Woo-Hoo!" Now I'll have to back up and offer a bit more background because that just sounds crazy.
Years ago our Pastor prayed, wisely, "Lord, please make it impossible for us to build a church." We want God, not us, to build His church, not our church. We set up a building commitee and started a building fund. Then things got a little scary (the inordinate cost of building, negative input at a fragile time, fear from our collective past of losing (being kicked out of) church buildings) and we've just been sitting in one place, buildingless, for a long time.
Partway through the "impossible, inappropriate, irresponsible" sermon, I was getting a little frustrated. It has been so painfully obvious to my family that we should start building and let God ... well LET God period. So when the three I's were introduced with scripture to back them, I found myself almost giving in with, "If our elders still can't see this, and now they are using scripture to prove this lack of faith as being justified, maybe we don't want to be part of this church afterall." I hate even writing that down. I LOVE my church! We've been through so much together. I love our pastor. I love each of our elders and their families. But God is my All In All. I can't be in a church that goes purposefully out of His will.
Then Pastor Bob posed a series of questions...
1)Do we need a church building? The answer was "Yes, we need a building of Faith."
2)Would God use a building to build our faith?
3)Does God intend to build faith by building Faith?
I remember nodding my head in agreement to all of the above. When it first occurred to me that we were going ahead with building, I remember glancing up from my notes (My hubby wasn't able to be there this morning and I wanted to be able to relay accurate information to him.) and meeting eyes with one of my best friends whose husband is an elder and dear friend. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. Later she told me she had been watching me write, and laughing at my facial expressions. I was a little irritated in the beginning. I found out my dear MIL was doing the same thing across the room from me. Taking notes, being irritated, thinking, "I guess this is it." For anyone who has been in a church split please know that I would never leave a church family because they didn't do something I wanted them to do... ie build a building. It just was so clearly God's Will that we build. I think that is why today was so sweet. God has been speaking. We've been praying and listening. God spoke some more... and we heard Him! I just love that! You could feel Him in that room with us. Pastor Bob mentioned this morning our first Sunday meeting after things went so wrong at our last church. Faith, which began with 5-families, had a massive population explosion one December day 4 1 /2 years ago. Most of us can remember clearly how Spirit-filled that room was. There was singing, tears, hugs, and just such a feeling of homecoming. Today felt quite similar. We are on the right track!

Trust

2008-07-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 10:36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
I'm not a "patient endurance" kind of gal, I'm more of a "jump in wholeheartedly and then fizzle out" kind of gal. Now that I know I am to write, I need to be patient. My tendency is to neglect everything else and devote myselft totally to writing.... then three days later I'm bored, exhausted, and living in a pigsty. Overcome with guilt about leaving everything else undone during the time I was writing (or painting, or scrapbooking, or reading) and feeling like a failure for having quit after such a short time, it could be weeks, months, or even years before I take it (whatever it happens to be) up again. I'm following a "read the Bible in a year" plan and I am constantly amazed at how God keeps telling me through His Word exactly what I need to hear and when. Isn't that silly? Why would I be surprized at that? But I am, delightfully so, each time it happens. I love how He so often works in the little ordinary day-to-day things to show us just how big His love for us truly is.

This is IT!

2008-07-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

These past few days, and the past weeks leading up to it, have been like a giant blog/jig-saw puzzle. Reading Lysa TerKeurst's blog yesterday about following your dreams, reading various comments from a bunch of God-loving ladies, (many who are themselves writers) following rabbit trails throughout the Wonderful World Web, and this morning's discovery of Renee and her blog - Journey of My Heart has renewed my desire to write. For the past few weeks God has been sending me subtle (and some not-so-subtle) messages about my need to OBEY Him. I told a friend a few weeks ago that I felt that something big was about to happen. I realize now that this is it. I am a writer. I used to write ALL the time. Even as a teenager my philosophy had been, If I didn't write about it then it didn't really happen. Then I became a Christian and realized that much of my content was not pleasing to God. I was also humbled to the point of, Who do I think I am that I can write? Do I really even have anything to say? But now I realize how many other authors have had such an impact on my relationship with God and that I do have a way with words, Thank God. I have a testimony. I have a way of seeing unique connections in everyday life. One of my biggest fears has been not wanting to confuse or mislead my audience about God's Truth. I look at writing as a huge responsibility. People are searching and searching for God. What if I make a mistake in my writing and it leads someone astray? But isn't that just selfish? I wonder if that kind of thinking has been why I haven't written much yet in this New Life? The Bible offers some assurance .... "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand." John 10:28 More Later!

Little Lesson Learned

2008-07-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

This morning I was sitting, er slouching, at the kitchen table... just dragging. I was watching the boys outside playing and I was thinking of all the things I needed to do. I prayed, "Lord, will you please give me energy?" I was hoping for a bolt of energy straight from heaven, what I got instead was a little bit of insight. As long as I was sitting on my tush, I wasn't going to get any energy. I didn't need it. So I stood up and reached for the dishrag to start washing the table. Even as soon as I was on my feet, I was happily humming and feeling energetic. While I was still sitting, contemplating my long list of tasks I was feeling hopeless about, I was remembering Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me." I also thought about some books I've been reading where the author mentioned that they don't want to be able to claim that they were the ones who did it (whatever IT was) they knew they wanted it to be God. That's when I lifted up the prayer. I let go of my guilt, thinking, "Okay, I don't feel like it. So what. It's not about what I feel like. Quit feeling bad about it, and just let God work through you!"
After the huge A-ha! I thought about our church family and our desire to build our own church building. I love our pastor and he has been so careful about not wanting us to want a building for the wrong reasons. We also (probably unanimously) want God to build our church, not us. We've been saving and planning and scheming for about 4 years. Our pastor prayed recently asking God to make it "impossible for us to build." We don't want to take out a loan. I wrote this once and it got deleted. Now with 3 boys competing for my attention, my train of thought is lost. Okay, as long as we are just sitting (not building, not cleaning, not doing) we don't need the energy/money/resources. I didn't feel energetic until I actually needed it... I didn't need it until I stood up. It's not a matter of the un-biblical, "God helps those who helps themselves." It is more of a God doesn't necessarily need to, and in fact, often does NOT at all, lay out a clear path for you to just walk on. Once you start walking and practicing obedience, the path unfolds before you.... sometimes not until you are mid-stride.

Why is it so hard?

2008-06-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I came to an understanding of sorts that God was wanting me to obey. Hello.... Duh! But specifically there were a few items that I felt He wanted me to work on today. I cleaned in the girls' old room today. That was it. I didn't make the cards. Why? 1) because I felt like my house was too dirty. Did I work on cleaning it though? Nope. 2) I didn't think I had any stamps. Did I even look? Did I go buy some? So I'm letting little doubts and my expectations and/or perfectionisms stop me from doing what I think God wants me to do. This isn't good. It's embarrasing sending this out into the blogging world, but I have got to be held accountable. God knows so what do I really care if the www knows? I didn't work on teaching Daniel speech or letters. Why? 1)reading my book instead 2)watching a movie 3) I did work on the girls' room. Okay, what was that? Excuses, justification, let's just call it what it is. Disobedience. I feel God is leeding Bob and I into another chapter in our lives. I think that it is absolutely crucial that we obey God. I know we will be blessed for having done so. I also think that it's hard to obey (for whatever reason) even these "little" things, but God is about to give us some really big things and that we need to practice obedience. So, I am going to gather a couple of cards for Nancy and get one ready to send to Treasure, Chassy & Tristian. I'm going to load the dishwasher and lay out my clothes for church tomorrow. Tomorrow I will finish the girls' room. Including under the bed & sweeping & mopping. Have I asked God to help me obey? That would be a good way to start!!!!!

Empty Nest

2008-06-27T22:59:00.000-07:00

So here we are almost a week after the threee newest kiddos left for the other side of the state with a relative. I miss them so much. We all do. Daniel, the night after they left, said, "Mommy, we only have two." He held up his pinky and ring finger. "We only have Bendan and Aton. We don't have everybody. That sad." "That IS sad." I replied choking back tears. What is scary is that I'm really not feeling like we are to be taking in more children. At least not just yet. We had been feeling that this was truly God ordained. That doing foster care, by having a house filled with children, was truly what we were supposed to be doing. Right now, and for the past couple of weeks, I've been really questioning that. My prayer is that I am truly open to what God has planned for us... for our family. Berto and I are not doing all we can be for God. My thought tonight has been that clutter/stuff/things is in the way. With dh working full-time + and getting a raise, it's been so much fun spending money. But I don't want that to be our life. I don't want him to be working himself sick and not loving his job and me spending money on lattes and clothes. There's more to it. I just read a book where the hero is a pastor. He had been in the military and then went to seminary and became a pastor. Berto has been told before that he should be a pastor. He's so good at it. It's been on the back burner though because of his "job" and being tired. Maybe what we need to do right now is regroup for a bit. Please Lord, speak loudly. I am going to read the Bible daily and try to be open to God's commands. A few things...
Declutter, send some cards, write, concentrate on Aton's behaviour & needs & Daniel's letters & speech.

"Come see what I found at the cemetary."

2008-05-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

My husband called me just after dark with this cryptic message.
"What did you find?" I asked expecting some sort of punchline or something kind of gross.
"It's weird. I just don't know what to make of it." He'd been patrolling the small town for just a few hours into his shift.
I tried for more information. "What is it? Do I want to see it?"
"I don't know if you do or not. It's very odd. I'm not sure if it was something just left here on purpose, or what."
I got in the van and headed that direction. I called him partway there to make sure he was still at the cemetary. There was no way I was going to arrive there all by myself. Especially after such a strange call from him and especially with the moon full the way it was. Beautiful... when you're not on your way to a cemetary to see something so odd that your policeman-hubby is not sure about it. What could someone find at a cemetary? The possibilities are endless. One thought I had was, "Did someone write my hubby's or another cop's name on a tombstone as a threat?" Why yes, I do read mysteries. How did you guess?
About five miles away it dawned on me that it was probably a kitten. I called him again and he confirmed that "Whatever it is, it moves."
I pulled up beside him and he talked me into moving my van a little farther away from his patrol car so that we could both actually open our doors to get out. I walked to his side of the car and he had his tazer out, "Did you hear that?" I did hear an odd noise... Then I heard several pitiful mewing noises coming from the direction of his lap. 4 little grayish kittens were huddled together meowing loudly. He'd found them next to a bag and thinks they were brought there in the bag and dumped. They wouldn't stray far from the bag.
So now the bag and four little kittens are upstairs in my foster daughters' room. I left them alone for five minutes and when I came back the girls were telling me what the kittens' names were. "No, Don't EVEN name them! They are cat 1, cat 2, cat 3, and cat 4." I already have them listed on FreeCycle.... but we will probably keep one.... or two. But NOT all four! Unless noone else wants them. Or if we think it might be too hard on the little guys to separate them... No, only 1! Ok, or two.

Almost Summer "Break"

2008-05-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

When I was an elementary teacher I looked forward to summer break because it was a break... from a classroom of kids. Now I'm looking forward to summer break because I'll have a house full of kids for a few months. Crazy. Last night dh and I went to a Foster Care Appreciation Dinner. We dropped the kiddos off at a playland (babysitting was provided) and spent 3 hours with each other, other grown ups, good food, and fun entertainment. It was lovely. But when we picked up our 6 crazy kids and started walking toward our mini-van, I was filled with happiness. The kids were bubbly and bouncing around telling us tales of all their fun and the friends they met. I had to stop for just a moment and reflect on just how much I love our large family. I love peace and quiet, but I truly enjoy our chaotic-at-times family.
On Mother's Day at a restaraunt the kids were doing a word search based on the book of Esther. They came to the word "bow." T-bird, age 5, decided to demonstrate to all of us what that word meant. He took a bow. He's a little guy and those tables at Texas Road House are tall. Whack! Only his pride was hurt, and not too badly because when he saw how funny it was to all of us, he was ready to do it again.

Shoe Fetish? Nope!

2008-02-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

No, I am not a woman of many shoes, but many children. My dh (Berto), ds (DJ), and I began taking in foster children a little over a year ago. Because we are insane, actually because we have the room, we offered to take in siblings. Don't ever offer to do that unless by "siblings" you mean, "TONS of kiddos all at the same time!" For almost half a year we had 6 kids 6 years old and younger. My mom dubbed me, "The little old mommy who lived in a shoe, had so many children she didn't know what to do."
I am looking at this blog as a way to replace my chocolate habit. Last Valentine's Day everyone I knew gave me dark chocolate. Who knew that dark chocolate was a stress reliever? Apparently everyone who knew me and knew I needed to relieve some stress! Now I am in search of healthier stress-relieving habits... Daily Bible reading (which was one of the first things to go after our family nearly trippled in size), going to the gym (Anyone else just LOVE the elliptical?), writing (a rekindled romance), and eating healthier.
Check in whenever you like. Read anonymously. Offer kind advice. Share your own similar struggles and triumphs. Tell a joke.... Just don't tell Social Services. If they had any idea what went on in this mind of mine they'd not only take away our dfc (dear foster children) but DJ as well!