Friday, June 27, 2008

Empty Nest

So here we are almost a week after the threee newest kiddos left for the other side of the state with a relative. I miss them so much. We all do. Daniel, the night after they left, said, "Mommy, we only have two." He held up his pinky and ring finger. "We only have Bendan and Aton. We don't have everybody. That sad." "That IS sad." I replied choking back tears. What is scary is that I'm really not feeling like we are to be taking in more children. At least not just yet. We had been feeling that this was truly God ordained. That doing foster care, by having a house filled with children, was truly what we were supposed to be doing. Right now, and for the past couple of weeks, I've been really questioning that. My prayer is that I am truly open to what God has planned for us... for our family. Berto and I are not doing all we can be for God. My thought tonight has been that clutter/stuff/things is in the way. With dh working full-time + and getting a raise, it's been so much fun spending money. But I don't want that to be our life. I don't want him to be working himself sick and not loving his job and me spending money on lattes and clothes. There's more to it. I just read a book where the hero is a pastor. He had been in the military and then went to seminary and became a pastor. Berto has been told before that he should be a pastor. He's so good at it. It's been on the back burner though because of his "job" and being tired. Maybe what we need to do right now is regroup for a bit. Please Lord, speak loudly. I am going to read the Bible daily and try to be open to God's commands. A few things...
Declutter, send some cards, write, concentrate on Aton's behaviour & needs & Daniel's letters & speech.

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