Monday, December 29, 2008

I've got my 8!

My kiddos are all here (except the 3 who went home with their parents). Our three who are staying with their uncle across state are here for 3 nights! :) It's been WONDERFUL! I would be so happy if we could somehow keep this lovely, large, hectic group of kiddos. My oldest girl is downstairs singing with my niece on the American Idol PlayStation game we got for Christmas. My 7 year old and 6 year old boys are watching them. The other group is up here playing with Transformers. I love the sound of them laughing together. Ahhhhhhhh..... Music to my ears. It will be sad tomorrow when the three leave.
Happy Monday everyone!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Catchin' Up...

Good morning, happy Thursday! My 5 year old was sick yesterday... still a little today but much, much better. My Almost-8-year old has been pushing the limits for the past couple weeks. Probably Christmas coming... he also found out recently that he wouldn't be seeing his biological dad until after the holidays, like WAY after the holidays. Poor kiddo.
We have an anual Christmas party with all the extended relatives. We're doing it at our house this year. I thought I was just volunteering the place, but ended up having to be the time/date coordinator as well. I guess that makes sense. But we finally, just this morning, found a day/time that seems like it will work for everyone. That took a week.
Christmas shopping, Christmas parties, not much Bible Study. There was a Proverbs 31 Ministry e-mail devotional recently that asked the question, "Are you ready for Christmas?" And how most of us respond with our lists of what we have left to do for the festivities. But am I ready, READY, for Christmas? Have I been preparing my heart? Have I been feasting on His Word? Have I quieted my heart to listen to His voice instead of all the hustle and bustle? Have I been teaching my children about Christmas and all that it means?
Today is a house-cleaning day... Physically clean the kitchen... and spend some time with my Saviour to "clean" my heart.
I may even turn off my computer. :)

Monday, December 15, 2008

"Whenever I feel like cleaning, I lie down until the Feeling Goes Away!"

I'm in a slump! Must get out of it! Do it, Just do it!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Menu Plan Monday

Here goes... My first ever Weekly Menu Plan Monday post. Woo-Hoo! My hubby will be so pleased! So will the kids. No more conversations like the common ones below:
7 year old "What are we gonna eat for dinner?"
Mom - "I don't know yet."
"Can we go out to eat?"
"That way you don't have to cook."
Isn't he sooooo sweet to be so concerned about me!
Another conversation goes like this:
Kid - "What are we gonna eat?"
Mom - "I don't know yet."
Kid - "Can we get something at a drive up?"
Or if I'm lacking inspiration (which is always) I'll sometimes ask the kids what they want to eat. My 5 year old invariably responds with, "Chicken nuggets, french fries, and a toy!"
Then again, perhaps the kids won't be all that pleased to have mommy know before 5pm what we'll be having for dinner. I have a feeling our pizza nights and drive-through dinners will be decreased drastically!

Monday - Sloppy Joes & Mac n Cheese & Pork n Beans
Tuesday - Chic-Fil-A (family night - cheap & fun)
Wednesday - Crockpot lasagna, salad, canned fruit
Thursday - Meatloaf with baked potatoes (maybe even twice-baked) salad, peas
Friday - Dinner out with hubby so pizza or hot dogs for kids & babysitter
Saturday - Tomato soup & grilled cheese sandwiches
Sunday - Spaghetti, corn, canned fruit

Nothing fancy. Just trying to get in the habit of writing it down.
Have a super week!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

So Proud

I just got back from the grocery store and ONLY bought the items on my list. I am so proud of myself! Not even one tiny impulse buy! I did make one switch... The bananas were all green so I bought apples instead. Do you realize how much money I'll save if I keep sticking to my list? What? You do realize how much a person could save? Huh, guess it's just me. Seriously, I am so far behind on all things home-maker-ish. When we were first married, okay, even up to five years ago, I would ponder and search and ask people... How do I clean my kitchen? Mom, if you're reading this, it's not your fault! I learned so many life lessons from my parents (even see my list and the comments on Saturday's post). Anyway, I guess I just never really wanted to learn how to be a home-maker. Now I'm seeing the importance of having a menu plan (see tomorrow's post! Wahoo! Now I have to do one.), a budget, an inkling of how much money pictures are going to actually cost before I have my children do 4 poses at the studio (another story), having routines that include decluttering and picking up dinner dishes,... I could go on, but I think I've embarrassed myself enough! I just am so tickled pink that I actually STUCK TO MY LIST!!!!!!!!!! Go me! :) Happy Sunday evening/Monday morning. I will have my meal plan up by noon. Okay, by afternoon, by evening at the latest... Okay, by noon-ish. :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Have you Ever?

Have you Ever?
This is going around and thought it would be a easy blog post.
You BOLD the ones you HAVE done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - In the process now!
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - Taco Bell - the next person in the drive-up
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance - not as a patient but as a ride-along
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud - just two years ago we were redoing our lawn and hubby purposefully made a big mud pit for the kids (and me) to play in
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - It was a local fire department training one :)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
89. Saved someone’s life...yes - over the phone as a 911 dispatcher and by leading them to the Lord, and therefore having eternal life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I got this from Dawn's site - It was fun!
Let me know if you do one!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Friday Fill-Ins on Saturday


1. Snow makes everything extra beautiful and peaceful.
2. I'm looking forward to adopting our 2 boys.
3. Flannel is the best material ever!
4. One of my favorite old tv shows is Little House on the Prairie.
5. I'm done with feeling guilty.
6. The most enjoyable thing around the holidays is talking about Jesus.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my hubby coming home after being out of town since Tuesday, tomorrow my plans include meeting my sisters at a photography studio to get pictures of all the grandkids (9 of them) for our parents, (it'll be at 2:30, you might say a prayer around that time!) and Sunday, I want to go to church!

By the time anyone reads my Friday Fill-Ins, it will be Saturday, but since I'm posting at 11:07pm, I'm gonna do it anyway!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Confessions of a Recovering Feminist

I read the study for Week #4 in Sunny's Biblical Submission Bible Study. I prayed, especially Ephesians 4:29... "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths (my mouth), but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
I picked up my Bible and my Beth Moore Believing God study book... I was just getting ready to sit down to read and study when I was flooded with memories of my old feminist life.
  • I used to refuse to allow boys/men to open doors for me.
  • When I was a senior in High School I wrote a paper on the feminist movement relishing all the research that prooved women's superiority.
  • I read a book "proving" that it was a goddess who formed our world... and believed it.
  • Would refuse to attend church because of Ephesians 5 - "Wives submit..."
  • Coughed loudly during a wedding ceremony when the "obey your husband" vow was read
  • Told "Stupid Men" jokes... in front of my dad
  • Had quite a collection of buttons/pins that said horrible things about men
  • Proudly displayed a bumper sticker on the back of my car (from my father) that read, "Men are Idiots and I Married Their King!" (My head is bowed in shame just thinking about that one... my poor hubby.)

The other day I said something to my dad about how I've changed a little bit and he thought I was underestimating the "little bit" part by quite a lot. I also e-mailed an old friend who would be shocked at how I've changed... I give all glory to God. Only He can change a heart the way He's changed mine. Funny because I thank Him for "opening my eyes" but every few weeks or so He opens them more to where I am embarrased for thinking they were "open" before. God is good!

As an afterthought... I've been struggling a lot with low self esteem. Could it be that I was so proud that God has been actually teaching me humility lately?

International Standard Version (©2008)

"But may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world!"

Friday, November 28, 2008

Mugs to Fit My Moods

My western mug with the pistol.

Makes me feel like a Sherrif!
Power, Determination, a touch of Outlaw!

My Kitty Mug

I like how this one feels in my hand.
So when I'm feeling like snuggling up
to a nice hot cup of java or chocolate milk,
this is the one I want.

For when I'm feeling Ultra Feminine.

Right about this time one of my 7 year olds told my 6 year old,
"She's taking pictures of her coffee cup."
Poor kiddos, sometimes they really do wonder about me...
and with good reason!

My Banished Mugs.

My dh, not understanding my mug for every mood, banished my mugs to the top shelf. (and I'm short!) Now that it's hot cocoa season, I'll probably bring down my Disney mugs for the kids. I've got them trained right because at least one of my boys already has his special mug - The Lion King.

I hope you all have a super day! I will NOT be joining in the shopping madness. I may not even get out of my PJs. Although I do plan on much cleaning in preperation for putting up Christmas Decorations. Yee-Haw!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

How to Cook a Turkey

I asked my kids (ages 5-7), my nephew (5), and my niece (13) if they would give some advice to Aunt Mary on how she should cook the turkey. We're heading over there this evening for our family Thanksgiving Feast. I e-mailed her these directions in case she needed some help with the turkey. But I'm really hoping she already has another recipe!
For the below recipe I took snippets from each of their separate recipes and compiled them. I also printed out their individual recipes, a page with "A few Thankful Quotes", and a blank page titled, "A Few Thankful Notes...". I stapled them together between cardstock and scrapped a little Happy Thanksgiving Title.

How to Cook a Turkey - by my kiddos

What kind of turkey? A real turkey? How about Gobble gobble gobble? You shoot it! Tell Bob to share his gun. If he’ll let us. I don’t know if he will. You cut off the real skin. The feathers. Put liquid on it. Baking soda, so it can be nice and thick. Probably a pinch of onion powder. 1 ½ tablespoons of that parsley stuff. And a bigger pinch of garlic powder. Apples and tomatoes in it. Cherry and banana. And a popsicle and carrot. It’s how you make it. Put cookies on it! (laugh) For reals put cookies on it. That would be nummy! That would be nummy to me. Then you put it in the oven. You cook it for 6 minutes. And then you take it out. And ‘den’ you let it cool off a little bit. I just remembered something else you have to do. You have to cut off its head! And pull out all its guts and blood and belly. Want cheese on it? I like cheese on my turkey. Put out your plates, spoons, forks, knives, cups, napkins, then let the Feast Begin! Then enjoy it. Then put your dishes away and go home.

Happy Thanksgiving.... I certainly hope all of your meals are not quite as, um, tasty, as this one would turn out.

A Few Thankful Quotes

"For three things I thank God every day of my life: Thanks that He has [given me] knowledge of His works; deep thanks that He has set in my darkness the lamp of faith; deep deepest thanks that I have another life to look forward to - a life joyous with light and flowers and heavenly song." ~ Helen Keller

"Give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Thessalonians 5:18

“O Lord that lends me life, Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.”
William Shakespeare (Henry VI)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Roses and Love Notes

I dragged myself up the stairs after my alarm sounded at 6:30 am. I staggered into the kitchen for coffee and stopped short. A dozen beautiful red roses sat in a vase on my kitchen counter. The night before, my hubby went off to fill the gas tank so I wouldn’t have to first thing in the morning. That was incredibly sweet all alone, but apparently he also bought me some flowers.
I made coffee then started my Bible Study. I am currently looking for GodStops in the third 5th of my life. Age 15-22 - otherwise known by my mom and I as, “Sophomore Brain Death.” Tons of sin to drudge up. Anticipating the guilt and heartache from those years, I opened the Bible and uttered something about needing to hear confirmation of God’s love for me before I started remembering those ucky things. I skimmed through John then landed in Romans. Romans 8:31-39 to be exact…

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What an incredible way to start the day... flowers from my hubby and a love note from my Lord.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Good morning/evening/afternoon... Okay Happy Thursday!
This is my response to the questions Sunny posed in her Keeping Christ in Christmas Giveaway.


At what age did you recognize you were in need of a Savior?

Who shared the Gospel with you?
My husband.
What was your first reaction when you heard the Gospel for the first time?
I rejected the Truth as unfair and intolerant. How could a loving God send someone to Hell just because they did not believe in Jesus? How could I believe in words that were written thousands of years ago by men? What about people who have never had the opportunity to hear about Jesus? My husband and I married thinking that our beliefs were fairly similar. Wow, were we wrong! As he started to realize how far off we were (Or how far off I was), he called me a heathen. It was in jest, but it hit a nerve. Anger was another reaction I had to God’s WONDERFUL Good News.
How long did it take you to understand Jesus is the only Savior, repent and trust Him with your life?
I think about a month or two. After my brother-in-law died in June I read Romans and Genesis at the same time and God opened my eyes to the fact that the Bible is FACT. I started reading the Bible with open eyes, trusting it, trusting Him, and talking to my husband. I didn’t pray the “Sinner’s Prayer” and I didn’t have immediate assurance of salvation. I volunteered to be an Awana Leader at the end of August and when they asked me in the interview if I was a “Born Again Christian,” I proudly said “Yes” and floated on Cloud 9 the rest of the day. So I became a Christian sometime between Dan’s death and 9-11. But because I never actually prayed the prayer and I wasn’t changed instantaneously, it took me a while to realize the full impact of having put my trust in Christ. I remember during that summer praying the prayer with different words, or out loud, or in a different order, waiting for the fireworks. Even a year later I expressed some doubts to our pastor and what he said helped immensely. I had also been talking to him about my family and how my parents think I was brainwashed. He told me that was a pretty good indication that I was indeed a new creation. (2 Corintians 5:17) I was baptized in 2003.
How often do you share the Gospel with others?
It varies. It's always bubbling up from within, but mostly to family. I went through a stage where I carried tracks. Now I mainly tell my children and my nieces & nephews, my mom and sisters, the internet.
What plans do you have to become more committed to sharing the salvation in Christ with others?
Ever since November 4th I’ve been convinced that I/we have been silent for too long. Since it seems that we are now in the minority, and I think it is going to get more difficult to share, now is the time to act!
What scares you the most about sharing the Gospel and what Scriptures have helped you overcome those fears?
Rejection… especially from family members. The story in Luke 16 about Lazarus and the rich man convicts me and encourages me to keep preaching while I can.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Some God Thunkin'

I am in two Bible Studies. I figured it would be okay because one is almost over and the other is just beginning. Well, it just so happens that they are both powerfully insightful requiring much introspection. (Psalm 19:14 and Psalm 139:23,24) The first one is Beth Moore on Believing God. The latest assignment was to go through your life finding all those places that God was there. It is really hard to want to remember some of those times… not the “GodStops,” as she calls them, but what happened just prior. And I actually had a pretty happy childhood! But I’ve been procrastinating, not wanting to be uncomfortable or sad. Basically because I’m a chicken! I found out Sunday that a few of my friends in the study have also procrastinated for the same reasons. One friend mentioned that God did some “thunkin’” on her and she was forced to start delving into her past. She was encouraging and said it was hard but "Oh so Worth It!" Later that night while running errands I was thunked through K-love. This song, Whatever You’re Doing by Sanctus Real was playing and it so hit home. It should be playing on my playlist below. I’ll add a comment with the lyrics. The next two songs spoke to my heart as well: Back in His Arms Again by Mark Schultz and You Never Let Go by Matt Redman. I cried and prayed and although I did not write anything then, I did some sporadic remembering.
When I got home I sat at the piano bench and started flipping through a song book I used to play/sing from when I was younger. It had been in my piano bench forever and forgotten until my 1 year old recently “rearranged” my music. I opened it to the page with one of my favorite songs (The Way We Were) and started playing it and singing along, “Memories may be beautiful and yet, what’s too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget.” Then this morning I remembered another verse that asks, “Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?” Funny though, I actually remembered it as “or has God rewritten every line?” Interesting perspective.
I started writing down some of those memories last night and one of the illuminations was that my niece was born right when I was starting to have doubts about God. I was going to college and had one professor in particular who was very anti-Bible. At this point (September 1995) I was almost totally convinced that God did not exist. Well then my niece was born and I was there at the hospital. When I first saw her, I knew. I no longer doubted. She was just a little miracle and there was no doubt in my mind who made her. I’ve always looked at that as a coincidence. But now looking back I realize that God used her, or at least her timing, to bring me back to Him. I get goose-bumps thinking about it! I will keep this short (Oops. Too late!) because I want to do some more introspection. Here I am anxious to get back to what I had been putting off for so long. God was there all along! Praise Him!
One revelation I had recently had more to do with my second Bible Study, I need to create a family budget. Problem is, HOW? I know kind of the basics, but do any of you have any tips to get me started? This is something my hubby has been asking me to do for a very long time. I just get so overwhelmed with it I put it off and put it off. But when I started doing some homework for Biblical Submission “Budget” was one of the three things I’d written down. Then that night my hubby sweetly asked about it again.
Let’s see what my To Do List looks like… “Budget, Dig up scary emotional past, Clean, Blog…” Oh wait, here’s the more truthful order: “Blog, blog, blog, blog, eat, blog, sleep, blog.” Ha ha ha. And I just got my book, “Body for Life For Women” that I won from Sandy’s lovely blog, I’ve got some work to do! Have a blessed Tuesday!!!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"Mean momma in the whole wide world!"

Our five year old has been in speech therapy since he was about 2. Miss Amy works with him on various sounds - "p" and "b" etc. and gives him exercises, like sucking pudding through a straw, that work his mouth and tongue muscles. Lately I've been questioning whether we really should be encouraging his communication skills after all. When he is in trouble with me and I have to spank him or send him to time-out, he sputters out several words and sentences, usually in the following order, "Mean!" "Liar liar, pants on fire!" "I'm not gonna be your best friend anymore!" The last one just cracks me up! Where does he get these?
Tonight was a classic. As we were lying in bed talking, singing, trying to get him to fall asleep so I could get up and play on the computer (hee hee) he asked, "Are you the mean momma in the whole wide world?" His question caught me a bit off guard. "No, honey, I don't think so." "Then how come you won't let me brush my teeth with the noisy toothbrush?" We have been letting him use the electric toothbrush. Tonight I had to take it away from him before he felt he was finished. (The internet was calling for me!) He was not a happy camper. We went through the rest of his night-time routine and had been talking quietly and singing songs for about 10 minutes before he astounded me with his adorable accusation. Are we in trouble, or what?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

One Touch

I've been inhaling this song all day. Singing it in the shower, in the car, playing it on my blog, Ipod & Youtube, and just reading the lyrics. There have been a few songs lately that have just really spoken to my heart. One Touch by Nicole C. Mullen is one of them.

International Standard Version Luke 8:43-49
A woman was there who had been suffering from chronic bleeding for twelve years. Although she had spent all she had on doctors, no one could heal her. She came up behind Jesus and touched the tassel of his garment, and her bleeding stopped at once. Jesus asked, "Who touched me?" While everyone was denying it, Peter and those who were with him said, "Master, the crowds are surrounding you and pressing in on you." Still Jesus said, "Somebody touched me, because I know that power has gone out of me." When the woman saw that she couldn't hide, she came forward trembling. Bowing down in front of him, she explained in the presence of all the people why she had touched Jesus and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace."

I had the amazing privilege of watching Nicole C. Mullen perform this song at a Women of Faith Conference last year. There was a dancer with a red ribbon who, when Nicole sang the part where the woman had been healed, dropped the red ribbon and picked up a white one. It was breathtaking. I like how the video addresses other “issues” that can be healed by Jesus.



Been ostracized for 12 years
I'm used to being alone
Spent everything I had
And now it's gone
I'm used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored In this fall

If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul
If only one touch
So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of Him
Would stop the flow
If He knew would He rebuke me
Or shame me to the crowd
Well I'm desperate 'cause it's never or it's now

If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'd be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would heal my soul.

And then suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles And how...
I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And i know I've been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through this madness
And His love has healed my soul.

Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I've been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soul.
I tell you He Touched me.
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me Jesus shol' 'nough [[sure enough]]
He touched me... And I know I've been made whole

Saturday, November 1, 2008

My intro for A Wife's Biblical Submission Bible Study

“Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord…” ~~~ Ephesians 5:22

This one verse has been such a major part of my life. It was a stumbling block when I was unsaved. My mom and I would attend church together every once in awhile. But it seemed that every time we would go back, this would be one of the readings. We would cringe, sulk, talk it over begrudgingly, and vow not to go to church again.
Then in 2001 my brother-in-law and I got into an argument about homosexuality. He, his wife, and my other sister-in-law were talking about how they refused to watch a television show when one of the main characters came out of the closet. I was aghast at such intolerance. He showed me something in the Bible to prove his point. I looked up Ephesians 5:22 and handed the Bible back to him. He was a little perplexed because the passage I pointed to was so off the topic.
“Well,” I huffed, “This is just something ELSE that’s in the Bible that I don’t agree with!” Ugh! My poor brother-in-law. I can still see the incredulous look on his face. He went home and looked up passages to try to prove the Bible to me and I went home and looked up passages to prove just how badly women were treated in the Bible. He died in a motorcycle accident before we could finish our debate.
At his funeral the recurrent theme was how he was in Heaven because of Jesus. No one doubted it. I had always been told that it depended on how good you were and it was always a hope, but never an assurance that loved ones would go to Heaven. I started searching the Bible again. But this time I was not looking to proof it errant, I was looking for answers. I started reading Genesis and Romans a little each day and was so thrilled to find out how those two books coincided. It was true! Everything in that Book was absolutely true. I no longer had a doubt. Shortly after that I accepted Jesus as MY savior, not just savior of the world, but savior of ME.
My husband and I celebrated our 10th year of marriage this past May. We have one biological son (5 years old), 2 soon-to-be-adopted sons (7 & 6), a foster son (7) and his sister (1). We have six other foster children who are living with their families but are still part of our lives.
I found this intriguing Bible Study while Blog-hopping through I’m not sure exactly how I landed on this beautifully encouraging site, but am thankful I did, and looking forward to this study and meeting everyone else!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Building Faith - Entry for Falling for Jesus

Psalm 105: 1,2 (NKJV)

Oh, give thanks to the LORD!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!

God is just so amazingly good! This morning I felt His presence and blessing so strongly upon our congregation. Our church has been building-less for about five years. (Sometime I will go into the details of how we found grace by leaving Grace and how we came to be called Faith.) We have the land and some money. Most of us want to build a church. After much God-searching over the past few weeks our church elders have come to the conclusion that it truly is impossible, irresponsible, and inappropriate for us to start building a church. Therefore, we will start building a church! This is wonderful news, but perhaps a tiny bit confusing. Allow me to explain.
Years ago our Pastor prayed, wisely, "Lord, please make it impossible for us to build a church." We want God, not us, to build His church, not our church. We set up a building committee and started a building fund. Then because things got a little scary (the inordinate cost of building, negative input at a fragile time, fear from our collective past of losing church buildings), we stopped moving forward with building. We have just been moving from borrowed place to borrowed place, building-less, for a long time.
Partway through the "impossible, inappropriate, irresponsible" sermon, I was getting a little frustrated. It has been so painfully obvious to my family that we should start building and let God ... well LET God period. So when the three I's were introduced with scripture to back them, I found myself almost giving up with the thought, "If our elders are not seeking God (or at least not listening) and now they are using scripture to justify this lack of faith, maybe we do not want to be part of this church after all." I hate even writing that down. I LOVE my church! We have been through so much together. I love our pastor. I love each of our elders and their families. But God is my All In All. I can't be in a church that goes purposefully out of His will.
This morning when it first occurred to me that we were going ahead with building, I remember glancing up from my notes and meeting eyes with one of my best friends whose husband is an elder and dear friend. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. It was so exciting to realize that our church was going to build! I found out later that my dear mother-in-law was having a similar reaction across the room from me; Taking notes, being irritated, thinking, "I guess this is it." To clarify, I would never leave a church family because they didn't do something I wanted them to do, i.e. build a building. It just was so clearly God's will that we build.
I think that is why today was so sweet. It has never really been about building a new church. It has been about building Faith. God has been speaking. We've been praying and listening. God spoke some more... and we heard Him! I just love that! You could feel Him in that room with us. I think we are on the right track!

Psalm 105:3,4

Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD!
Seek the LORD and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Our family enjoyed dinner at a restaurant last night. It was in the town where dh is a policeman, and since he was working, he wore his uniform. Extra pressure to keep the 1 year old entertained so she doesn’t scream her little head off. We tried crackers, a straw tied in a knot and then french fries finally worked for awhile. When our meal came dh gave her little pieces of his chicken fried steak. I use the term “little” loosely as there was really nothing little about the honkin’ huge pieces of cow he was feeding to that tiny10-toothed infant! Okay, I am exaggerating. But still, I would have probably at least fourth’d those bites before letting her anywhere near them. To my husband’s credit and to my relief, she did just fine and I will no longer be buying baby food.
Midway through the meal, our 7 year old foster son proclaimed to me, quite loudly, “Remember when Bob tried to kill you?” I was just speechless. Less than a week ago I had shocked myself a bit on some wiring from our under-cupboard lights dh had installed in our kitchen. That night at dinner my finger was still a little charred so I got all dramatic and entertained my boys with how I got shocked and, “Look at my finger! Bob tried to kill me!”
Who would have thunk the little guys would have actually believed that? And really, who in the world could have predicted that one of the dear ones would try retelling it loudly in a crowded restaurant in the town where Bob worked, while he was wearing his uniform! Well, apparently dh could have predicted it, for he seethed through bared teeth “They will repeat every thing you say!” Oops! I don’t think anyone heard, and really dh did think it was kind of funny. Phew!
Kids are just so much fun! Remind me of that tomorrow, and the next day, and next week.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hot Lava and Prayers

Daniel has an Uncle Obsession of sorts. For the longest time Uncle Mike has had top billing, but lately Daniel has been asking a lot of questions and telling stories about his Uncle Dan. Tonight we were snoozling (a Bob-term meaning cuddling prior to snoozing) in bed and Daniel started talking about uncles. (I’ll have to think of how it started, but want to get some of this down before it leaves my brain.) He asked if we could pray to his uncle…the one “that died.”
“No sweetie, we can only pray to God, but we can pray and ask God if He would say Hi to Uncle Dan for us.”
“Yeah, I want to do that.”
So I prayed, “Dear God, we ask that you would tell Uncle Dan hi for us and that we miss him. And thank you so much for his love for you and the way he believed the Bible.” Then Daniel asked how he died. He knows it was a motorcycle. I told him that another car ran into him. Okay, how much information is too much information for a 5 year old? I don’t know. But he asks about it sometimes and I try to tell him the truth.
“Was it a bad guy?”
“No, it was a little old lady.”
Long silence and then this sweet little five-year-old voice declares, “I want that girl to die.”
I told him how she didn’t mean to do it. “You know how mommy sometimes runs over the curbs in the van and I say, ‘Oops, I ran into a curb!’ I don’t do it on purpose, I’m just not being very careful. Mommy is not a bad guy. Same with that girl. She didn’t mean to. She just wasn’t very careful. She’s still sad about it sometimes.”
“Can we pray for her?”
This time Daniel prayed. “God please tect (protect) the girl and not make her be sad.” Or something like that. I can’t remember the words he used. Just the meaning and that it was his idea to pray and just how incredible it was to witness that kind of faith in a five-year-old.

* * * * * *

Now I remember part of how this whole conversation got started. It was, of all things, hot lava! Daniel and his brothers have been playing the typical childhood game where you try not to step on carpet (or the colored tiles, or the rug, etc.) because it’s “hot lava.” So he’s been talking about hot lava lately.
“I don’t want to go in hot lava.” He states just matter-of-factly.
“No, that would hurt.” I agree.
“Where is hot lava?”
“Hawaii? Where’s Hawaii?” I told him how Hawaii was some islands in the Pacific Ocean. “Hawaii has hot lava?”
“Whoa, how did God do that, Jenny?”
Then Daniel started telling me about how, “Some guy had hot lava and made metal.” And something about an airplane.
I asked him, “Where did you learn about all this?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you learn it at school?”
“No, I don’t think at McDonalds… or Chic-Fil-A.”
“Did you watch a movie about it?”
“Yeah I think at my uncle’s… my uncle that died.” Which is not possible since Dan died two years before Daniel was born. But Daniel has made up stories about Uncle Dan before. In the past it would have really freaked me out thinking it was some sort of reincarnation or a ghost, but I think he is just trying to make Uncle Dan more real to him because he’s obviously real to Bob and I. Maybe he thinks he should remember Uncle Dan so he invents memories.
One of the reasons we think Daniel has this ongoing obsession with uncles, other than the obvious fact that he has some incredibly awesome uncles, is because he lives with his mommy and daddy. Now, that might not make a whole lot of sense to those who are in “normal” families. But in our family our kids take turns praying for each other’s moms who are, or have been, in jail. Daniel, not wanting to be left out, started praying for his uncle, who recently moved to Texas. While the kiddos make pictures and write letters for their moms, Daniel makes pictures and writes letters for his uncle. At dinner and at bedtime the other boys will often add, “and Daniel’s uncle” after they’ve asked God to protect their moms. I smile each time they do that knowing how a certain uncle would definitely appreciate these innocent, unknowing, and unspecific prayers.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Alright already!

I am writing this only because I have to. DH was peering over my shoulder the other day and said, "You haven't written since August?" So, here. I'm writing. And even though it's nonsense, it actually feels kind of good.
I've been blogging..... just READING instead of WRITING! One thing that struck me tonight was after watching part of the debate I found a thread on a FlyLady BlogTalk Radio Forum about "Feeling unsettled." Many people are scared of what's going on in the economy, unsure about Iran, hesitant about the future of America in general. I will have to write about this later. Why? Well, I guess I don't really. Just that the good Guy wins. God wrote history ahead of time. It's not going to be real pretty at times. But Good wins. He wins. Halleluiah!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Bad Mom Award

My dear Mother-in-law hates snakes. HATES them! When her children were little, she saw a garden snake in a ditch. Her youngest son (I think about three years old at the time) almost went for a swim because she pushed against him to get as far away from the snake as possible. A few years ago I took some pictures of our then two year old “petting” a snake. She refused to look at the pictures.
Last Sunday after church we made a visit out to the family farm to set a bullfrog free (another story). My three boys saw a snake wriggling in the lawn. Where was my Mother-in-law? In the house, probably standing on top of something tall. I don’t mind snakes, at least not the little non-poisonous ones. I picked it up and the boys took turns holding it. I was told, in no uncertain terms that after playing with the snake, I was to kill it or fling it across the road. "Fling" was accompanied by the action of arm swinging overhead lasso-style. I don’t kill things bigger than spiders. I told the boys to say goodbye to the snake. Then with 3 pairs of innocent eyes watching I flung the snake to a skidding halt in the middle of the far lane of the highway. After not moving for a good thirty seconds, it started slithering toward our side of the road. Like an idiot I yelled at it, “Go back! Go to the OTHER side of the road!” Then, wouldn’t you know it, here comes a large truck towing a boat. Smush! “Go inside boys.” “Is it dead?” “Go inside.” Fortunately for me it wiggled. “It’s moving!” “Go inside!” As I escorted my three now hopeful little boys into the house under orders to wash their hands with soap and warm water, I told my hubby he needed to come outside. “You didn’t throw it all the way across, did you?” “Nope.” “It got hit, didn’t it?” “Yep.” Hubby kicked it the rest of the way across the road then found a creepy crawly diversion for our sons in the form of a caterpillar.
Rewind to about two weeks before when my dad had just finished babysitting. My six year old invited me outside to see a “bee with no wings that can’t fly.” On my way out the door my dad asked me to, “take care of it.” It was a wasp and it had wings. My middle, most tenderhearted, son stood watching while I stomped his little pet to smithereens. The look on his face was heart-wrenching. Bad mom! Bad mom! Poor critters! Bad mom!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Decluttering Challenge

Two boxes (overfilling & damaged) full of phone systems have been in our driveway since March. We tried to FreeCycle them but someone took the new ones and left the old ones. Hubby was not impressed. Then instead of getting rid of them, we let them sit in our driveway until we could make a decision. This Friday morning, aka "Trash Day," I made a decision. :)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Bad Guys, Super Heroes, and Jesus

Ah, the sounds of brothers playing nicely together.
“I got up and you say, ‘Whoa, I thought you died.’” my 7 year old commands.
“Whoa, I thought you died.” My 6 year old obeys and continues with, “Then I jump over the building and you say, ‘He is good!’”
“He is good.” Says the 7 year old with the same impressed-sounding emphasis on good.
This is how my boys often play. They narrate and direct each other. I really need to get them recorded before they grow out of this adorable phase. Meanwhile, my 5 year old son is asking, “Does Robin die? Does Batman die? Is Robin a boy? Can Robin die?”
Obviously my sons are big super hero fans. We even live with our very own super hero. My husband is a policeman. The forces of good verses evil seem to be the topic of conversation much of our day. If they’re not pretending, they’re asking questions. One of my recent favorites was, “Do bad guys sleep?” How did they come up with that one?
One day, I'm sure at God's prompting, I fired some questions right back at them. I asked, “What do bad guys do?”
“They kill people.”
Of course. “What else do they do?”
“They steal stuff.”
“Oh, like you stole that candy from your brother? Hmmmm, You’re a bad guy. Do bad guys lie?”
“Ok. Well you lied to me this morning. That means you’re a bad guy, too. Do bad guys say bad words?”
Now all three boys are a little more hesitant, “Yeah.”
“Mommy has said bad words before. I guess I’m a bad guy.” I really had their attention now. “We’re all bad guys. We all do things that are wrong. We sin. That’s why Jesus died for us.”
I don’t know if they totally understood, but one morning I overheard the following,
“I’m Batman!”
“I’m Spiderman!”
“I’m Jesus!”
I pray that someday my boys will see Jesus as their One True Super Hero!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Living for the Moment

I am reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. I just finished reading the chapter about living for the moment verses focusing on Jesus. “Our life will follow where we choose to focus our vision.” I have definitely been more of a living-life-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. My house shows it. My body shows it. This afternoon I went to grab an ice-cream bar out of the freezer. Just as I reached for it words from Lysa's book came to mind, “living for the moment.” So I left the ice-cream in the freezer where it will do me the most good. I repeated those words a couple of times out loud, “living for the moment” and it occurred to me to ask a question. Have I been living for the moment or have I been living for that moment when I see Jesus face to face? I am ashamed to admit that I have been focused on my own personal comfort. Day by day, moment by moment. Falling for the all too familiar if-it-feels-right-at-the-time-do-it mentality. So my latest thought is that it is okay to live for the moment… as long as that moment is His and not mine.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Hebrews 12:12-13 "So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong."

Just prior to reading this I was sitting on my fanny gathering up energy. I do this quite frequently. I'm really not sure where I think all the energy is going to come from or how it's going to find me while I'm daydreaming or snoozing. Anyway, I'm taking this scripture to heart this weekend. "Tired hands... shaky legs" sure describe me lately. "Mark out a straight path for your feet." In context this is setting your sights on Jesus. I also think it would help me to plan my days. Then those who follow me... (my kiddos?) can see a little bit of Jesus in me. I need to take more seriously this precious role that God has placed me in. My little guys are watching me. They immitate me. Berto and I will listen to them arguing in the next room and my hubby will raise his eyebrows at me condemningly when he hears one of them using one of my sarcastic remarks. Ooops. Why don't they ever copy the really intelligent things I say? Okay, they do that all the time. Just never in front of witnesses. Ha ha

Dear Father, please help me to make that straight path with you as the goal. I've been feeling convicted by Paul's analogy of the race for years now. Probably because Christianity is a marathon and not a sprint. Father, please help me to stay focused on you. Help me to be a Christian example for my kiddos and family. Please allow me to get a firmer grip with these tired hands. Thank you for your Living Word. Your Holy Spirit as guide. Friends and blogs who help keep me accountable. An understanding and patient husband. Supportive family.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Building Faith

God is just so amazingly Good! He has been especially astounding me lately. Then this morning I felt His presence and blessing so strongly upon our congregation. I get misty-eyed thinking about it now hours later. Our church has been buildingless for about 5 years. Sometime I will go into the details of how we found grace by leaving Grace and how we came to be called Faith. We have the land and some money. Most of us want to build a church. After much God-searching over the past few weeks our church elders have come to the conclusion that it truly is Impossible, Irresponsible, and Inappropriate for us to start building a church.... therefore we will start building a church! Amen! Closed fist thrown up in the air with loud, "Woo-Hoo!" Now I'll have to back up and offer a bit more background because that just sounds crazy.
Years ago our Pastor prayed, wisely, "Lord, please make it impossible for us to build a church." We want God, not us, to build His church, not our church. We set up a building commitee and started a building fund. Then things got a little scary (the inordinate cost of building, negative input at a fragile time, fear from our collective past of losing (being kicked out of) church buildings) and we've just been sitting in one place, buildingless, for a long time.
Partway through the "impossible, inappropriate, irresponsible" sermon, I was getting a little frustrated. It has been so painfully obvious to my family that we should start building and let God ... well LET God period. So when the three I's were introduced with scripture to back them, I found myself almost giving in with, "If our elders still can't see this, and now they are using scripture to prove this lack of faith as being justified, maybe we don't want to be part of this church afterall." I hate even writing that down. I LOVE my church! We've been through so much together. I love our pastor. I love each of our elders and their families. But God is my All In All. I can't be in a church that goes purposefully out of His will.
Then Pastor Bob posed a series of questions...
1)Do we need a church building? The answer was "Yes, we need a building of Faith."
2)Would God use a building to build our faith?
3)Does God intend to build faith by building Faith?
I remember nodding my head in agreement to all of the above. When it first occurred to me that we were going ahead with building, I remember glancing up from my notes (My hubby wasn't able to be there this morning and I wanted to be able to relay accurate information to him.) and meeting eyes with one of my best friends whose husband is an elder and dear friend. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. Later she told me she had been watching me write, and laughing at my facial expressions. I was a little irritated in the beginning. I found out my dear MIL was doing the same thing across the room from me. Taking notes, being irritated, thinking, "I guess this is it." For anyone who has been in a church split please know that I would never leave a church family because they didn't do something I wanted them to do... ie build a building. It just was so clearly God's Will that we build. I think that is why today was so sweet. God has been speaking. We've been praying and listening. God spoke some more... and we heard Him! I just love that! You could feel Him in that room with us. Pastor Bob mentioned this morning our first Sunday meeting after things went so wrong at our last church. Faith, which began with 5-families, had a massive population explosion one December day 4 1 /2 years ago. Most of us can remember clearly how Spirit-filled that room was. There was singing, tears, hugs, and just such a feeling of homecoming. Today felt quite similar. We are on the right track!

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Hebrews 10:36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
I'm not a "patient endurance" kind of gal, I'm more of a "jump in wholeheartedly and then fizzle out" kind of gal. Now that I know I am to write, I need to be patient. My tendency is to neglect everything else and devote myselft totally to writing.... then three days later I'm bored, exhausted, and living in a pigsty. Overcome with guilt about leaving everything else undone during the time I was writing (or painting, or scrapbooking, or reading) and feeling like a failure for having quit after such a short time, it could be weeks, months, or even years before I take it (whatever it happens to be) up again. I'm following a "read the Bible in a year" plan and I am constantly amazed at how God keeps telling me through His Word exactly what I need to hear and when. Isn't that silly? Why would I be surprized at that? But I am, delightfully so, each time it happens. I love how He so often works in the little ordinary day-to-day things to show us just how big His love for us truly is.

Friday, July 11, 2008

This is IT!

These past few days, and the past weeks leading up to it, have been like a giant blog/jig-saw puzzle. Reading Lysa TerKeurst's blog yesterday about following your dreams, reading various comments from a bunch of God-loving ladies, (many who are themselves writers) following rabbit trails throughout the Wonderful World Web, and this morning's discovery of Renee and her blog - Journey of My Heart has renewed my desire to write. For the past few weeks God has been sending me subtle (and some not-so-subtle) messages about my need to OBEY Him. I told a friend a few weeks ago that I felt that something big was about to happen. I realize now that this is it. I am a writer. I used to write ALL the time. Even as a teenager my philosophy had been, If I didn't write about it then it didn't really happen. Then I became a Christian and realized that much of my content was not pleasing to God. I was also humbled to the point of, Who do I think I am that I can write? Do I really even have anything to say? But now I realize how many other authors have had such an impact on my relationship with God and that I do have a way with words, Thank God. I have a testimony. I have a way of seeing unique connections in everyday life. One of my biggest fears has been not wanting to confuse or mislead my audience about God's Truth. I look at writing as a huge responsibility. People are searching and searching for God. What if I make a mistake in my writing and it leads someone astray? But isn't that just selfish? I wonder if that kind of thinking has been why I haven't written much yet in this New Life? The Bible offers some assurance .... "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand." John 10:28 More Later!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Little Lesson Learned

This morning I was sitting, er slouching, at the kitchen table... just dragging. I was watching the boys outside playing and I was thinking of all the things I needed to do. I prayed, "Lord, will you please give me energy?" I was hoping for a bolt of energy straight from heaven, what I got instead was a little bit of insight. As long as I was sitting on my tush, I wasn't going to get any energy. I didn't need it. So I stood up and reached for the dishrag to start washing the table. Even as soon as I was on my feet, I was happily humming and feeling energetic. While I was still sitting, contemplating my long list of tasks I was feeling hopeless about, I was remembering Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me." I also thought about some books I've been reading where the author mentioned that they don't want to be able to claim that they were the ones who did it (whatever IT was) they knew they wanted it to be God. That's when I lifted up the prayer. I let go of my guilt, thinking, "Okay, I don't feel like it. So what. It's not about what I feel like. Quit feeling bad about it, and just let God work through you!"
After the huge A-ha! I thought about our church family and our desire to build our own church building. I love our pastor and he has been so careful about not wanting us to want a building for the wrong reasons. We also (probably unanimously) want God to build our church, not us. We've been saving and planning and scheming for about 4 years. Our pastor prayed recently asking God to make it "impossible for us to build." We don't want to take out a loan. I wrote this once and it got deleted. Now with 3 boys competing for my attention, my train of thought is lost. Okay, as long as we are just sitting (not building, not cleaning, not doing) we don't need the energy/money/resources. I didn't feel energetic until I actually needed it... I didn't need it until I stood up. It's not a matter of the un-biblical, "God helps those who helps themselves." It is more of a God doesn't necessarily need to, and in fact, often does NOT at all, lay out a clear path for you to just walk on. Once you start walking and practicing obedience, the path unfolds before you.... sometimes not until you are mid-stride.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Why is it so hard?

Last night I came to an understanding of sorts that God was wanting me to obey. Hello.... Duh! But specifically there were a few items that I felt He wanted me to work on today. I cleaned in the girls' old room today. That was it. I didn't make the cards. Why? 1) because I felt like my house was too dirty. Did I work on cleaning it though? Nope. 2) I didn't think I had any stamps. Did I even look? Did I go buy some? So I'm letting little doubts and my expectations and/or perfectionisms stop me from doing what I think God wants me to do. This isn't good. It's embarrasing sending this out into the blogging world, but I have got to be held accountable. God knows so what do I really care if the www knows? I didn't work on teaching Daniel speech or letters. Why? 1)reading my book instead 2)watching a movie 3) I did work on the girls' room. Okay, what was that? Excuses, justification, let's just call it what it is. Disobedience. I feel God is leeding Bob and I into another chapter in our lives. I think that it is absolutely crucial that we obey God. I know we will be blessed for having done so. I also think that it's hard to obey (for whatever reason) even these "little" things, but God is about to give us some really big things and that we need to practice obedience. So, I am going to gather a couple of cards for Nancy and get one ready to send to Treasure, Chassy & Tristian. I'm going to load the dishwasher and lay out my clothes for church tomorrow. Tomorrow I will finish the girls' room. Including under the bed & sweeping & mopping. Have I asked God to help me obey? That would be a good way to start!!!!!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Empty Nest

So here we are almost a week after the threee newest kiddos left for the other side of the state with a relative. I miss them so much. We all do. Daniel, the night after they left, said, "Mommy, we only have two." He held up his pinky and ring finger. "We only have Bendan and Aton. We don't have everybody. That sad." "That IS sad." I replied choking back tears. What is scary is that I'm really not feeling like we are to be taking in more children. At least not just yet. We had been feeling that this was truly God ordained. That doing foster care, by having a house filled with children, was truly what we were supposed to be doing. Right now, and for the past couple of weeks, I've been really questioning that. My prayer is that I am truly open to what God has planned for us... for our family. Berto and I are not doing all we can be for God. My thought tonight has been that clutter/stuff/things is in the way. With dh working full-time + and getting a raise, it's been so much fun spending money. But I don't want that to be our life. I don't want him to be working himself sick and not loving his job and me spending money on lattes and clothes. There's more to it. I just read a book where the hero is a pastor. He had been in the military and then went to seminary and became a pastor. Berto has been told before that he should be a pastor. He's so good at it. It's been on the back burner though because of his "job" and being tired. Maybe what we need to do right now is regroup for a bit. Please Lord, speak loudly. I am going to read the Bible daily and try to be open to God's commands. A few things...
Declutter, send some cards, write, concentrate on Aton's behaviour & needs & Daniel's letters & speech.

Monday, May 19, 2008

"Come see what I found at the cemetary."

My husband called me just after dark with this cryptic message.
"What did you find?" I asked expecting some sort of punchline or something kind of gross.
"It's weird. I just don't know what to make of it." He'd been patrolling the small town for just a few hours into his shift.
I tried for more information. "What is it? Do I want to see it?"
"I don't know if you do or not. It's very odd. I'm not sure if it was something just left here on purpose, or what."
I got in the van and headed that direction. I called him partway there to make sure he was still at the cemetary. There was no way I was going to arrive there all by myself. Especially after such a strange call from him and especially with the moon full the way it was. Beautiful... when you're not on your way to a cemetary to see something so odd that your policeman-hubby is not sure about it. What could someone find at a cemetary? The possibilities are endless. One thought I had was, "Did someone write my hubby's or another cop's name on a tombstone as a threat?" Why yes, I do read mysteries. How did you guess?
About five miles away it dawned on me that it was probably a kitten. I called him again and he confirmed that "Whatever it is, it moves."
I pulled up beside him and he talked me into moving my van a little farther away from his patrol car so that we could both actually open our doors to get out. I walked to his side of the car and he had his tazer out, "Did you hear that?" I did hear an odd noise... Then I heard several pitiful mewing noises coming from the direction of his lap. 4 little grayish kittens were huddled together meowing loudly. He'd found them next to a bag and thinks they were brought there in the bag and dumped. They wouldn't stray far from the bag.
So now the bag and four little kittens are upstairs in my foster daughters' room. I left them alone for five minutes and when I came back the girls were telling me what the kittens' names were. "No, Don't EVEN name them! They are cat 1, cat 2, cat 3, and cat 4." I already have them listed on FreeCycle.... but we will probably keep one.... or two. But NOT all four! Unless noone else wants them. Or if we think it might be too hard on the little guys to separate them... No, only 1! Ok, or two.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Almost Summer "Break"

When I was an elementary teacher I looked forward to summer break because it was a break... from a classroom of kids. Now I'm looking forward to summer break because I'll have a house full of kids for a few months. Crazy. Last night dh and I went to a Foster Care Appreciation Dinner. We dropped the kiddos off at a playland (babysitting was provided) and spent 3 hours with each other, other grown ups, good food, and fun entertainment. It was lovely. But when we picked up our 6 crazy kids and started walking toward our mini-van, I was filled with happiness. The kids were bubbly and bouncing around telling us tales of all their fun and the friends they met. I had to stop for just a moment and reflect on just how much I love our large family. I love peace and quiet, but I truly enjoy our chaotic-at-times family.
On Mother's Day at a restaraunt the kids were doing a word search based on the book of Esther. They came to the word "bow." T-bird, age 5, decided to demonstrate to all of us what that word meant. He took a bow. He's a little guy and those tables at Texas Road House are tall. Whack! Only his pride was hurt, and not too badly because when he saw how funny it was to all of us, he was ready to do it again.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Shoe Fetish? Nope!

No, I am not a woman of many shoes, but many children. My dh (Berto), ds (DJ), and I began taking in foster children a little over a year ago. Because we are insane, actually because we have the room, we offered to take in siblings. Don't ever offer to do that unless by "siblings" you mean, "TONS of kiddos all at the same time!" For almost half a year we had 6 kids 6 years old and younger. My mom dubbed me, "The little old mommy who lived in a shoe, had so many children she didn't know what to do."
I am looking at this blog as a way to replace my chocolate habit. Last Valentine's Day everyone I knew gave me dark chocolate. Who knew that dark chocolate was a stress reliever? Apparently everyone who knew me and knew I needed to relieve some stress! Now I am in search of healthier stress-relieving habits... Daily Bible reading (which was one of the first things to go after our family nearly trippled in size), going to the gym (Anyone else just LOVE the elliptical?), writing (a rekindled romance), and eating healthier.
Check in whenever you like. Read anonymously. Offer kind advice. Share your own similar struggles and triumphs. Tell a joke.... Just don't tell Social Services. If they had any idea what went on in this mind of mine they'd not only take away our dfc (dear foster children) but DJ as well!