Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Confessions of a Recovering Feminist

I read the study for Week #4 in Sunny's Biblical Submission Bible Study. I prayed, especially Ephesians 4:29... "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths (my mouth), but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
I picked up my Bible and my Beth Moore Believing God study book... I was just getting ready to sit down to read and study when I was flooded with memories of my old feminist life.
  • I used to refuse to allow boys/men to open doors for me.
  • When I was a senior in High School I wrote a paper on the feminist movement relishing all the research that prooved women's superiority.
  • I read a book "proving" that it was a goddess who formed our world... and believed it.
  • Would refuse to attend church because of Ephesians 5 - "Wives submit..."
  • Coughed loudly during a wedding ceremony when the "obey your husband" vow was read
  • Told "Stupid Men" jokes... in front of my dad
  • Had quite a collection of buttons/pins that said horrible things about men
  • Proudly displayed a bumper sticker on the back of my car (from my father) that read, "Men are Idiots and I Married Their King!" (My head is bowed in shame just thinking about that one... my poor hubby.)

The other day I said something to my dad about how I've changed a little bit and he thought I was underestimating the "little bit" part by quite a lot. I also e-mailed an old friend who would be shocked at how I've changed... I give all glory to God. Only He can change a heart the way He's changed mine. Funny because I thank Him for "opening my eyes" but every few weeks or so He opens them more to where I am embarrased for thinking they were "open" before. God is good!

As an afterthought... I've been struggling a lot with low self esteem. Could it be that I was so proud that God has been actually teaching me humility lately?

International Standard Version (©2008)

"But may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world!"


Anonymous said...

Dear Jenny,

I appreciate your wonderful post and you openness. God does indeed do marvelous works! How great are His tender mercies toward us!

I am REALLY enjoying getting to know you.

Love, Ernestine:)

JesusRulzMe said...

Oh precious sister Jenny,

WOW! What a fabulous article! I'm so blessed to to know how much God has truly transformed your heart and mind in Christ Jesus! And what a testimony from your dad!

About the low self-esteem thing...THAT'S GREAT! It's the world's lie that we're supposed to have a "good" self-esteem...that's where Satan fools us into still holding onto a little bit of pride so he can trick us later into rearing it's ugly head again when we're not paying attention.

We ought to rightly have a "low" self-esteem as the only one who is worthy of a "good" or "high" self-esteem is the only one who IS good, our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, who alone is God.

We esteem ourselves not, it is much easier to esteem our Savior as He should be and see ourselves from God's point of view and not the world's...that is, we are all unworthy wretches of His glorious sacrifice, yet He did it anyway b/c He loves spite of ourselves.

Keeping a heavenly perspective helps us to live in constant sure helps me! :-)

I'm sooo thankful to God that He led you to our study!

I love you precious sister,

Lori Stilger said...

Jenny, I appreciate your honesty! I find it harder to hold my tongue with my husband than anything else at any time. Thank you for the reminder.
Thanks, too, for coming to visit my blog today! :D Yes, we did co-direct a show at the beginning of the year. YES, it was a lot of hard work, but I was so proud of that show..... :)

My Walk With God said...

Hello Jenny, I feel so blessed reading your post.

It's uplifting to know that somehow we have similar struggles in one point of our lives, deep within our hearts.

I can relate to you struggling in "Low-Self Esteem", I am a young wife and a lot of people observed that I gained weight tremendously, and some of my officemate really insult me in front of others and will laugh in a way that would really hurt.

I struggle and other related stuff, but God and also my husband reminds me not to take it seriously, rather stay humble in God's sight.

While these struggle may hurt, it also point us back to HIS very heart.

"Keeping a heavenly perspective helps us to live in constant sure helps me! :-) (Awesome Sunny)"

In the bible it says, we should keep our thoughts on Heavenly Things , those that last eternally.

Let's keep each other in prayer.

We'll struggle together and triumph together in God's GRACE!!

Buildeth Her House said...

Thank you so much for posting this. I too was a happy feminist. But God has taught me to be humble as well.