I picked up my Bible and my Beth Moore Believing God study book... I was just getting ready to sit down to read and study when I was flooded with memories of my old feminist life.
- I used to refuse to allow boys/men to open doors for me.
- When I was a senior in High School I wrote a paper on the feminist movement relishing all the research that prooved women's superiority.
- I read a book "proving" that it was a goddess who formed our world... and believed it.
- Would refuse to attend church because of Ephesians 5 - "Wives submit..."
- Coughed loudly during a wedding ceremony when the "obey your husband" vow was read
- Told "Stupid Men" jokes... in front of my dad
- Had quite a collection of buttons/pins that said horrible things about men
- Proudly displayed a bumper sticker on the back of my car (from my father) that read, "Men are Idiots and I Married Their King!" (My head is bowed in shame just thinking about that one... my poor hubby.)
The other day I said something to my dad about how I've changed a little bit and he thought I was underestimating the "little bit" part by quite a lot. I also e-mailed an old friend who would be shocked at how I've changed... I give all glory to God. Only He can change a heart the way He's changed mine. Funny because I thank Him for "opening my eyes" but every few weeks or so He opens them more to where I am embarrased for thinking they were "open" before. God is good!
As an afterthought... I've been struggling a lot with low self esteem. Could it be that I was so proud that God has been actually teaching me humility lately?
"But may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world!"