I am in two Bible Studies. I figured it would be okay because one is almost over and the other is just beginning. Well, it just so happens that they are both powerfully insightful requiring much introspection. (Psalm 19:14 and Psalm 139:23,24) The first one is Beth Moore on Believing God. The latest assignment was to go through your life finding all those places that God was there. It is really hard to want to remember some of those times… not the “GodStops,” as she calls them, but what happened just prior. And I actually had a pretty happy childhood! But I’ve been procrastinating, not wanting to be uncomfortable or sad. Basically because I’m a chicken! I found out Sunday that a few of my friends in the study have also procrastinated for the same reasons. One friend mentioned that God did some “thunkin’” on her and she was forced to start delving into her past. She was encouraging and said it was hard but "Oh so Worth It!" Later that night while running errands I was thunked through K-love. This song, Whatever You’re Doing by Sanctus Real was playing and it so hit home. It should be playing on my playlist below. I’ll add a comment with the lyrics. The next two songs spoke to my heart as well: Back in His Arms Again by Mark Schultz and You Never Let Go by Matt Redman. I cried and prayed and although I did not write anything then, I did some sporadic remembering.
When I got home I sat at the piano bench and started flipping through a song book I used to play/sing from when I was younger. It had been in my piano bench forever and forgotten until my 1 year old recently “rearranged” my music. I opened it to the page with one of my favorite songs (The Way We Were) and started playing it and singing along, “Memories may be beautiful and yet, what’s too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget.” Then this morning I remembered another verse that asks, “Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?” Funny though, I actually remembered it as “or has God rewritten every line?” Interesting perspective.
I started writing down some of those memories last night and one of the illuminations was that my niece was born right when I was starting to have doubts about God. I was going to college and had one professor in particular who was very anti-Bible. At this point (September 1995) I was almost totally convinced that God did not exist. Well then my niece was born and I was there at the hospital. When I first saw her, I knew. I no longer doubted. She was just a little miracle and there was no doubt in my mind who made her. I’ve always looked at that as a coincidence. But now looking back I realize that God used her, or at least her timing, to bring me back to Him. I get goose-bumps thinking about it! I will keep this short (Oops. Too late!) because I want to do some more introspection. Here I am anxious to get back to what I had been putting off for so long. God was there all along! Praise Him!
One revelation I had recently had more to do with my second Bible Study, www.biblicalsubmission.blogspot.com. I need to create a family budget. Problem is, HOW? I know kind of the basics, but do any of you have any tips to get me started? This is something my hubby has been asking me to do for a very long time. I just get so overwhelmed with it I put it off and put it off. But when I started doing some homework for Biblical Submission “Budget” was one of the three things I’d written down. Then that night my hubby sweetly asked about it again.
Let’s see what my To Do List looks like… “Budget, Dig up scary emotional past, Clean, Blog…” Oh wait, here’s the more truthful order: “Blog, blog, blog, blog, eat, blog, sleep, blog.” Ha ha ha. And I just got my book, “Body for Life For Women” that I won from Sandy’s lovely blog, www.godspeakstoday.blogspot.com. I’ve got some work to do! Have a blessed Tuesday!!!!