Candle on the Water

Daniel has started doing something that I'm not too fond of. We watch musicals together and I sing along just like always, but now he puts his hand over my mouth and sternly says, "Don't do that momma!" Not so sure what THAT'S all about! He used to like me singing in his ear with Helen Reddy or Mulan. Oh well. My baby boy is growing up... and apparently developing some taste in music...
I rented Pete's Dragon for the boys the other day. Brendan loved it. Especially when I told him that "Candle on the Water" was our song. Daniel liked parts of it. He did not care much for the Gogans, the storm at the end, or my singing. Go figure. I absolutely love that movie!
Sharon Jaynes wrote a book called, "Being a Great Mom Raising Great Kids." I started reading it around the same time I watched Pete's Dragon with my kiddos. God has some amazing timing! I am a visual learner and often think in pictures. So I already had the picture of a lighthouse and being a "candle on the water" as a positive image for a mom. Then I read the following quote from Jaynes' book:

"A mother whose children rise up and call her blessed is much like a stately lighthouse. She has a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. Her walls of faith are constructed to withstand the storms of life, and her primary function is to house the light of Christ. This mother is an immovable constant in her child's life, a landmark along life's journey, ,and a guiding light that points her child to the safe harbor of home and eventually out to sea."

Within days of reading this I received an e-mail devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Lysa TerKeurst was having mommy doubts just prior to speaking at a parenting convention because one of her kids had been called into the principal's office. Lysa recognized the importance of seeking God's definition of who she is rather than letting "moments define her." What wisdom! And what Godly timing!
Lately, as in for the past four to six months, I feel like I have been chasing my tail. I have been reacting to how the kids act rather than setting the tone for my family and modeling sane behavior. It's been like a ping-pong game. I let the kids bring worms to school. I'm a good mom. I lost my cool with my 8 year old. I'm a bad mom! Back and forth, day by day, minute by minute. I've whined to my hubby. I've whined to my mom. I've whined on FaceBook. I've whined to my poor little darlings! I've whined to God... and I am finally starting to listen... to Him. I just love how God can speak through books and blogs, moms and music, husbands and Helen Reddy... :)

I receive e-mail reminders from FlyLady. Yesterday this was in one of her e-mails:

"...forget your perfect offering,
there's a crack in everything.
That's where the light gets in."

A quote by Leonard Cohen that someone had sent in to her.

This mommy, cracks and all, will work on being a lighthouse for her children. With a "solid foundation in Jesus Christ," "walls of faith...to withstand the storms of life," not to mention a lovely singing voice... I will seek to be an "immovable constant" in my childrens' lives. Mommies don't have to be perfect to reflect the Sonlight.

Connections in Charlotte

I just checked the internet for flights to Charlotte, NC. The cheapest one is just over $300.00. If I want a no-connections flight, it would be closer to $500.00. Suddenly there it was... the angle for my blog post for the She Speaks Conference scholarship entry. (Go to Lysa Tyerkurst's post for more information!) Connections! Of course I want connections. That's why I want to go to the She Speaks Conference in the first place!
Proverbs 31 Ministries' She Speaks Conference offers connections:

Connections with God and His calling in your life.
Connections with kind-hearted professionals with a desire to teach their trade.
Connections with other writers/speakers/leaders.
Connections with publishers.

My morning ritual involves opening three windows on my computer while waiting for the coffee to brew. My blog, FaceBook, and e-mail. My husband, in jest, accuses me of being addicted to the computer. He is only partly right. I am addicted to connections. As a stay at home mom, most of my connections (at least with grown ups) just happen to be found on the computer.
I love connecting with people. I love the fellowship with other Christians. I love meeting people who run in different circles than myself, learning about them and their beliefs, and showing them my connection to Jesus. I love connecting with God through prayer and reading His Word.
I also love to write. I used to say “I live to write.” It used to be that unless I wrote about something it was not real to me. I still have my notebook from my 9th grade Language Arts class where I sat across from a really cute boy. One day I kept accidentally making eye contact with him. Okay, I was staring at him and he was catching me at it! I could feel my face growing warmer and redder. I needed to vent. Having no friends in that class, I started a conversation within my notebook, “Eek! He just looked at me.” “Don't look at him!” “Whoa! He looked at me again!” This is an embarrassingly silly example, but that moment is still etched in my memory. Because I wrote about it.
I have a suitcase filled with letters I never mailed. My personality, my beliefs, my first boyfriends, my life was continually expressed through ink on paper. Then my life changed. I gave myself to Christ. I became a different person. I stopped writing.
There are several possible reasons why:

-My confidence took a nose dive.
-As a new Christian I felt I had little or nothing to offer.
-My freshest writing in the past was, well, fresh. And not like lilacs in the spring. More like the birds and the bees in the spring. Not explicit but not Christ-edifying, either.
-“The writer's life is a lonely life.” I am not sure if I am quoting my mother or my creative writing professor. Probably both.

I can no longer, however, resist the urge to write. I have been recognizing it as encouraging whispers from my Father in Heaven. I have started to re-find my voice through listening to His voice. The She Speaks Conference might just be what is needed for a “revival in my calling.”
Do you feel the same pull? Go to the She Speaks Conference website and find out that this conference could be just what YOU need!